I am mad

 Today I am mad.  On Wednesday I found out that to save a few bucks my second job is taking away my supervisor role.  Fifteen years and this happens.  

I pray about this and I look at this as a opportunity to spend my energies in something else.  They thought I would just take it.  Nope they lost me.  There is something else for me. 

I am mad at my pastor.  He talks about mental health but when I really needed him he was not there at all.  I asked for advice for medicine and he did not help me at all.

He can't help me God says.  I need to trust the Lord to work stuff out. 

I am upset with the childres pastor.  I see that the kids are bonkers and no one seems to ntoice.  I put down my foot and kind of make a big stink about it.

I look at this situation and use it as an opportunity to make my life more calmer with just focusing on what I can do and allowing another person to do what they should do.  The situation where I did not do worship for a few weeks I will ask about it next time. 

My sister in law and brother in law get a extra ticket.  I am sure my husband is their second, third choice but they don't have a ticket for me to see my niece.  Frankly 90 percent of me is glad but it just angers me that again I am treated like a second class citizen. 

They probably had someone else they were going to invite but that person backed out as usual.  I do let them know I know I don't like how I am treated.  How sad they have not learned over many years how to treat people and internally I see chaos all over the place.  

I am mad at my employer because I spend most days trying to walk the path of least resistance with no support.  I don't know daily if I will get yelled at, greeted or ignored.  I am so lookinng forward to getting out of there.

I look at this situation and I am grateful that finally I am getting some help to deal with this situation.  I have  seen other people frustrated and not treated nice either.  Eventually it will catch up with her.  I just need to pray for those effected and learn how to act as a supervisor.  I don't want to be one but I can in my little sphere of influence be one that is different.

I ai know things could be worse but it still makes me mad.  Lord help me to forgive with my brain even if the heart does not follow  immediately.   

I use these situations as a way to grow.  I can't change others but I can change myself.