Change of Plans, GO with the flow

 Yesterday we had a last minute change and ended up going on a field trip.  It was hot, muggy and most of my staff wore the wrong clothes. It might be my fault but it might not.  

My singing student really got loud.  When others were stressed so was she.  Everyone is offering ideas.  Good ones but none of them worked. 

I had some staff mad at me and others arguing.  It definitely was not the students.  I am realizing that I am still suffering from people pleasing

But last minute changes I learned what to do.  First of all I cannot change others.  If a student does not go on a trip I need to ask my staff to help me.  Second I need to allow my staff to error, drive each other crazy and help more.

I can't change others but I can change myself under the directions of the Holy Spirit. 

Crazy to Another Level

 I got to work today and I found out I was going to be on the same bus as a teacher who does not like me or at least one of my kids in the class.  I tried to see if she was not coming but she came late..  Also I tried to see if she could stay at school.  But my boss would not let her stay because she felt that that the others needed to deal with it.  So I put her on another bus.  It went well except at the end she was loud at the job and another student who was even louder yelled at her.  The teacher gave me several dirty looks.  I made sure was not on the bus coming home.  

After lunch the SW who is used to all kinds of behavior was bothered by the singing again.  The staff at lunch so I took her for a walk.  On the walk she got accidently loud by the mean teacher's room and the student yelled at her again.  Then I got the dirty look again.  The SW questioned me and I felt that I was under fire for trying to please everyone.

On top of that I made some errors with attendance since I was juggling the student, the mad teacher and trying to fix the problem.  

Last I had the muslim teacher cause havic at the job site and I had to break them up by my autistic teacher.  I told her several times to follow the rules of the place.  Then she decided that she wanted to take a 30 minute break instead of her 15 despite the fact she probly slept the whole way to and from the trip.  

I am thankful I survived.  

Moving forward I will speak with confidence when I have to deal with mean and stupid people and with my bosses I will try to fix problems without involving them.  Last I will make sure my attendance is correct and realize that I will not be able to please others all the time..

I Hear You...

 I am becoming more tolerant of people and stuff.  So thankful for God's provision and how he helps me with people who are unwilling to listen.   But sometimes it cracks me up when someone gets ticked off at the right time.

Jael

 I am learning that my life is kind of Jael.  In the Bible Judges is kind of a funky book.  Describles me so well.  I am learning that former experiences have shaped me into what I am supposed to be right now.  

I see where my life good and bad has helped me in understanding people, doing scary things and starting to accept myself.  I am not perfect but I am glad I am not where I used to be.  

Thank you Lord for making me a unique individual.

Connecting the dots and small prayers

 This weekend was a series of connecting the dots.  I realized with the music ministry that I was not supposed to be a part of something I did not agree with.

Second I was out at SC and the bugs were awful.  I thought about the small stuff I could pray about and instantly I had no bug issues.

Hard Stuff

 I am learning to confront people.  It is not easy but I am learning.  

My Fault, your fault

 I am learning a lot this summer.  So many things you get blamed for and actually it is not your fault.

Good fun this morning.  Beat my time by 3 minutes.  

Self Care, slowing down, enjoying the journey

 

Yesterday I had a good run.  I felt funny running into the former peeps but honestly I am glad I am not longer coaching for the marathon.  Mike and I went shopping and I finally got fitted at VS.  It was kind of depressing but I think instead of getting upset with the thirty pounds I need to lose but love myself right now where I am at and strive for better.

Comparison

 I have been dealing with non comparison a lot lately.  Today at SC was no exception.  I ran into someone from my past twenty years ago.  The school I left was such a failure time for me.  But in retrospect i realize how I needed to leave to appreciate what I now have.  

As I was leaving she was telling how she was just a newbie to climbing.  I know for a fact she has been doing it for a while.  

I can't change others and as I go into church where I could easily be a failure I look at all the opportunities I get in kids church and how it is a safe place. 

I even see with my oldest friend that things are not the same.  I decide to look at the positives like serving, knowing who I am in Christ and I realize that the most productive days are truly ahead.  

Critizing

 I talked to someone on the phone today.  They had been listening to various music and were quite critical.   

I was at work and it is never good enough for this and that.  But I make the choice to do my best and not worry about perfection.

I can't control others but with the Lord's help I can change me.    

popular, over compensation, mental health, in the right place at the right time

 Today we found out who won the gnome contest.  It is such a popularity contest.  Also I am seeing some people have to be all that just to over compensate,  I am thankful for protection on my way home with someone who got hit just moments before I got there.  Helping out my friend to get more business to someone who needed a handyman.  Bronson and I hung out and I figured out he was really struggling with attention and his parents who are overwhelmed with divorce.