Weakness strength New Life

I am thankful for a good walk, time to recharge, new goal, hub and bunny time, good sleep

Goodbye

 I left without a good bye.  I am glad I did not have to do the goodbyes.  I still don't know how I feel but I am glad I did leave without a trace.  At the end each of my students that I really put time and effort into had their own goodbyes.  And when I got home I got my order with a notebook for my new job and a mug. from Elevation.  

Last night it was a nice meal.  I am glad though it is over and that things are done.  

Retirement

Today is the day I have been waiting for a long time.  If all goes well retirement.  I am thankful for God's hand getting me through this year, endings to bad stories,family who want to celebrate with me,new opportunities at Elim, nice weather, justice being served and last God's strength. 

The Cracks Keep on Coming

 I  have in my basement a crack that when it rains a lot the water comes through.  This is not good because I am sure it causes mold and could hurt my dryer if not taken care of.  But I am having someone come out to look at it and take care of it.

This goes for my last three and a half days of my job.  On Friday my co teacher said it took two and a half hours to come in because she had an appointment.  And then after lunch a meeting at the middle school.  Everyone believed her except me.  I could see right through it.

Also things that are not important to mention are also coming to a head.  

Frankly I am mixed about the cracks.  On one hand I am seeing God's justice but another it makes me sad.  I need to not be bitter or say that is not fair.  

I just need to stand strong on the last few days of this crazy situation. 

Seeing beyond the offense

I am thankful seeing beyond the offense, helpful husband,real picture of stuff, endings to bad stories, short daytoday,good messages on rejection,  funny things and nice weather.

Pause and Listen

 Yesterday I had some people really freak out and now I am learning that if I stop to pause I can see what is truly coming on.  It is not about what is fair but what is the situation

Cracks, Single Digits, Hugs and Kisses,

 I am thankful for the opportunities to see more cracks, single digit days, kisses and hugs by the tough students,Favor, my pets, my husband, Good weather, the Finishing up of tasks and the knowledge knowing that I am Jesus' s child.  Despite a lot of stupid I am protected. 

back to it

It is a busy time of year with all the stuff due, ending on job and starting another but I am thankful for God's protection.   Eight days and it is over.  Thank you Lord for helping me

Peaceful Weekend

 I am thankful for three tests today that were normal.  A peaceful weekend.  A chance to walk and run.  Using my craft skills.  11 days or 9 school days.  Two retirement parties.  A nice time all weekend with the hubs.  Good messages.  I am blessed.  No matter what happens today I am almost at the finish line.

Last Meeting for Certiified

 I am learning that anything I do is with Christ's help but I am learning that a lot of things I did were actually right.  I can't change others people but with the help of Christ I can do what is needed.

Some Things Never Change

 I sat in a meeting that really could of sent me to the mental basement.  All of the teachers were talking about all the trauma they have experienced this year.  Pretty much as I can see none of them are working ESY..  

They talk about next year and it is just one stupid after another.  I sit there and say to myself it does not matter.

Yes Elim will have some of the same issues but for a change I am not in charge.  

As I am sitting in my last meeting

 Today I am sitting in a meeting that is what is happening next year.  It could really make me sad because I am not going to be there next year but I am glad I am out next year.  

It is just time away from my classroom.  Pray and space out

Drug of Gossip and other misfortunes Talk Directly To the Source

 Yesterday I did another Science experiment with someone screaming and tantrumming.  Also people talking.  It really sucks.  Then after the experiment the kids threw the experiment I thought in the toilet.  After not doing it correctly.  One teacher went from room to room to find out the result.  Instead of talking to me directly I had it second hand.  It made me mad how the staff was reveling it and how I got no grace.    I found the gossip girl and confronted her and also appologized to the janitor. 

And then my staff did not give me the information for a student's tests and I was left holding the bag.  Makes me so angry.  

It is almost over.  I am glad. 

Tough Stuff

 I am thankful for the tough stuff.  Today we had a student freaking out about not getting what he wants.  Listening to my other staff and not reacting the Lord helped me through.  I realized I needed help and I accepted it, asked for it and felt not ashamed because I deserve it.  I also kept my cool.  That was a first.

Another student was freaking out and I was able with the help of the Lord handle it.  And in God's wisdom I was able to keep the teaching ship running and moving.

I can't change others but with the Lord's help I can change the situation and I know He has given me favor.  

Zoo and other things to be thankful for.

 I am thankful for some good weather outside, a chance to run and walk, Omari choosing me to sit with him on the bus, a good day for a field trip, stamina, good food, my hubby who made the food, fun crafts, naps, peaceful day, and the fact I am blessed with a mom and dad who love the Lord.  

such a tanglement

Yesterday I had my aides complain about me again.  I was so angry but then I realized they did not even know they were being so petty.  The hand of Satan is so heavy on them they don't know what they are doing.  

I can't change others but I can grow through the challenges 

Petty Things

 I did two excellent art projects and my aides complained again.  I want to scream.  But I am counting the days.  I should expect it and stupid happens over and over again.    Show me how to handle this.

Time to Remember and Blessings

 It was a good weekend.  I enjoyed being off and literally not doing that much other than walking.  And Sunday playing with kids, allowing myself to be part of their imaginary games and enjoying kids.  

But I wake up this morning and my sleep score is non restorative. I wake up stressed with the chaos I will probably face this week.  And I say to myself it is good I feel this way because it is essential to remember the whys of me being forced to leave, the challenge of finding other work and making the decision to retire.  

I count down the days of crazy.  I plan my remainder of the year and I see a slight finish to all the chaos.  

I see where I am made for kids ministry and how I do enjoy the challenges and the kids that I am blessed to minister to every week.  

I think about the time I figured out I was forced to resign.  It was literally 75 days and now it is 18.  How with only the help of the Lord I was able to keep myself sane.  

The foundations of a already crazy classroom are beginning to show the cracks and sometimes the gushes of chaos I did not see before.  I see the double standards of mistake making, the pressure, the gossip and I see if I was forced to stay within the situation I probably would of had a breakdown.  

Thank you Lord and show me how to bless someone today.