Let me put myslef in you

 I have tried several ways to help.  But when I ask the Lord for help he let's me assist in unusual ways.   Also I got so.e compliments in so.e unusual ways.  I can't change others but I can work with the Holy Spirit 

Licks, good reports,

 I am thankful for good reports, licks from my bunny, things that should be impossible happen and nice conversations at the grocery store.

I am grateful

I am grateful for salads, Joyce Meyer, Elevation Church, bunnies, hubby. Family 

today

I am thankful for kids church.   I got play games with the kids and then later pray for them.  I see God is using me and giving me wisdom

little blessings

I am thankful for little things like seeing the Amazon drone, bunny taking meds, good talks, family who wants to spend time with me

God sees

I only had to change B three times yesterday.   I asked others to help me.  I am grateful for that at the right time God sees and I even got some compliments this week.  I can't change others but I can change my perspective.

Humble, learning

I am learning to accept help and be open to learn lessons from others.  I learned that sometimes the best lesson is to not react when others are foolish toward you.  This is a learning time for me and despite it not being glamorous I can have a good attitude and keep learning 

Thankful

 I am thankful for the lessons I am learning on humbleness, getting an appointment to vet, getting a hair cut and having an easier day with Byron.  I am also learning to let other people do their own poop. 

grateful

I am grateful for no Bryon, seeing albino squirrel, helpful staff

Don't hurt me no more

Yesterday the pastor preached again about drugs being not needed for mental health. For the first time it did not bother me. I just let it go like an opinion I simply did not agree with.  I can't change others but I can allow Jesus to change me.  

Postive stuff

I had some nice walks this weekend.  Found some incredible leaves and was able to work through some mental stuff

The power of a good word

I am thankful for yesterday when my boss gave me points and a good word.  That really made my day.  May I return the favor by having positive words for others.

Jesus Loves Me

Today I went to a Halloween exhubit with a sinister laugh. I sang Jesus loves me.   It quit immediately.  THERE IS Power in the name of Jesus

Gods Hand

Yesterday Mike went to the ER.  It was a four hour journey.  Not too bad. He has Diverticulitis.  I did not realize how nervous I was until I woke up this morning feeling dead.  But I am glad for time off.

quiet days

I am thankful for quiet days.   Art ideas, good preaching, peaceful rest,loving pets

thankful

I am thankful for forgotten keys that worked out for good, pen to giv3, calls for Diane, help when needed, figuring things out, bunnies who are loving and good hisband

thankful

It has been. A challenging week. But I am thankful for God's justice.  Peace and happy pets and husband

moving monday

I am thankful for a good weekend, peaceful activites, great naps and quiet evenings.  Fantastic sermons and good discussions. 

peaceful weekend

I am thankful for a peaceful weekend.  Spending good time with the hubs, dry home, happy pets, and calm days

tough day

It was a tough day, I got called into the office again, got a crash course on using a gait belt, had my teacher bully me, my kid was really sick.  It was a lot.  But God has called me there and I felt peace.  

Good evening.  Got to spend quality time with the hubs and got todo so.e art.  Thank you Lord

pride

I am learning to deal with pride by acknowledging it and asking for help.  I see where many of my problems happened last year.  Despite a crazy situation, my pride really impacted me.  I also need to not let what others think of me and slow down.  Thank you Lord for showing me tough stuff

Leave it in God's hands

I am thankful that I can leave things in God's hands.  Brian's blowouts, not complaining,  having ordinary days, peace, and changes.

Out of my control

Yesterday I was so close to telling off my boss.  But fortunately I did not and then I made it through a lot of people taking the day off on Monday.    It started off with devotions that went really late and then lack of staff and last a frustrated relative that was stressing me out.  I cant control others but I just need to pray

10K

I am thankful for a good run yesterday.   My time was good, I felt a runners high and I felt peaceful.   I am thankful for a new list of being disciplined, figuring stuff out and safety on the road.  

Random Things that are God Moments

I am thankful for figuring out how to fix my phone, seeings bunnies, spending time with my pets, losing weight and a good walk.  I am thankful for finding some creativity for stuff, Brian's diaper and exercise change.  Thank you Lord. 

Thankful

I am thankful for peace, being able to pray openly, songs of Praise,  interactive bunnies, creativity and peace, leaving tough stuff in God's hands

poop, controller, shoes, and 1000 guitars

I am thankful that I can have things work out, crazy 

Wistful Wed

I am thankful for unanticipated thank yous, nicer weather, books to read, leftovers that taste good,  mileage, quiet evenings, happy memories of the weekend 

Thankful Tuesday

I am thankful for God's blessings.   The good time we had with our parents, the good food, the cool walk, the peaceful evening with my husband, the book I am reading, the good job and seeing through the stressful situations. 

Labor Day

God really showed up yesterday. I was able to help a college student, minister to some rascals, have good talks with the hubs, see former problematic relationships from a different perspective.  I am grateful 

Super Sunday

I am thankful for bunnies, good run, pretty places, husband, good food, good sleep, chance to use my creative skills, no pain, I am a child of the King

Faithful Fri

I am thankful for Faithful Fridays.  Helping me with still learning Brian doing something right,  good night's rest despite crazy dreams, happy bunnies, and a nice evening with the hubs.

I am learning not to jump, allow God to be my cheerleader, and making the best of crazy.

Thurs Thoughts

I am thankful for getting wisdom on hard things, praying without ceasing, accepting what I can't control, happy husband, happy pets and the opportunity to trust

Wed Willppwer

I am thankful for measuring my teachers irractic personality, handling others, seeing things through a different lenses, no pain this morning and wisdom.

Terrific Tuesday

I am thankful for showing me that my wants are not God's wants, the true picture of this and that, healthy body, nice evening, good sleep and kind people.  

Motivation Monday

I am thankful for the internet, my books for helping me with the carpal tunnel, keeping safe at the race, driving and good naps this weekend.   Good messages from Pastor Steven and Dr. Cook.  Most of all I am thankful for good food and the Lord saving my soul.

Friday Thankfulness

I am thankful for speaking my mind yesterday,  realizing my limits, web MD to diagnose my carpal tunnel, good food, not overstuffing myself, and breakfast delivered. 

Working on speaking my mind and not trying so hard

grateful

I am grateful for helping me change diapers, having good food, funny cartoons to laugh at, healthy and active bunnies,  faithful husband, positive attitude and nice place to work.

thankful

I am thankful for new classes, new teaching assigment.

Not jumping

I am thankful for yesterday.  Peaceful day, not jumping to conclusions,  with bunnies, bunnies being cute, creative art

lessons learned

I have thought about my former toxic job and the stuff that was crazy this summer.  You can really let Satan get a foothold if you don't keep your eyes focused on God.  

blessings on the last day

Today I got asked to go on a walk with a difficult student, getting love taps un expected, bunny on a stump, and playing cards with another

thankfill

Bunnies greeting me, weeds that share a story, good Bible study, bunny time with pets, funny cartoon to make me laugh,  a job I found out I get a little raise 

hot and fun

Yesterday we went to the zoo.  It was peaceful, fun to see kids reaction to each animal, and behavior was good.  So thankful 

blessings

I am thankful for a good sermon, good day with fam, good workshop

thankful

Non verbal kid asking for my help with name,   greeting me, listening to a message about contentment, peaceful day, time for art, lower heart rate

blessings bombs and relaxation

I am thankful for the opportunity for accepting myself as I am , slowing down to enjoy life.  

thrilling Thursday

I am thankful for a good time of prayer and fellowship on Tues and Wednesday, seeing my former students, connecting with a holy handful, connecting with others, calming cartoons and good books

positive

I am thankful for reaching out, being positive, staying out of drama, enjoying the journey. Also making some friendships.  And Prayer time 

A Band Of Five Bunnies

I am thankful for bands of bunnies, being there,finding new ways to relate to kids, fun history and cartoons, answers to some questions,  and cooler days.

Monday Blessings

I am thankful for a good message about loving people, getting to eat at a good restaurant, napping,  good message,   getting inspired, short days, and my salvation. 

not perfect

I am grateful I don't have to be perfect, make everyone happy and allow myself to be.human.  i also am blessed that I am allowed to make an impact.

Revelations

Today I figured out that sometimes things don't have to make sense.  I realized my teacher is jealous of me and my job is to keep quiet and pray.  Also I need to pause more and pray more.

I am thankful for a good meal, nice walk, crafts and creativity, my trs is happening, bunnies, time off, peace.

Fear unlocked

I am learning fear is sometimes hidden.  My admin suffers from confidence and when I was.in charge I expected initiative.  I am learning to always check.  Also I am learning don't offer and last kee quiet.  Who cares if.they talk behind your back.  You don't need to worrywhat others think of you 

others

Yesterday I was back in the room but I felt left out.  I read the importance of being peaceful.   I pray I can leave my hurt feelings and be peaceful.  I am no longer a leader but a helper.  I need to be humble and just accept being in the background 

   Also I found out my trs went through. I am  so grateful. 

be a blessing

I am learning being a blessing is not easy.  The last two days I have been with another kid instead of my own class.  Diapers changes have been part of the deal.  Lots of saliva and hand holding as well.  But instead of getting upset or frustrated I choose to ask the Lord to be a blessing to my student, the teachers and the staff.  I need to be patient and be content where I am.

connections

I am thankful for connections.   The times I fed, changed diapers and worked with non verbal kids I have done before.  Even though things are new in some ways they are not.

blame game

I am starting to differentiate when I am corrected and someone else is not that it is something I need to get over and not be super sensitive about. 

I am also accepting what I can do after I did what I used to do.  

Also figuring out how to do something and accepting things not working out.

peaceful days

I am thankful for peaceful days, a nice time bowling,opportunities with friends, learning how to relax, beautiful lunc,bunny parade, nice time and meal  with hubs and funny cartoons.

more ordinary days

I am thankful for more good ordinary days.  A nice lunch outside, peaceful walks, a new way of doing roses, good day for Nolan, gelling with students and a peaceful evening.  I am so blessed.

ordinary blessings

I am thankful for ordinary blessings.  Safety during a rain storm,  good day, good sleep and a great message.

Father's Day

I am thankful for still having a mom and dad to celebrate with, a good run, a nice concert and good time with the hubs, creativity, and a peaceful morning.

Second week

I am thankful meeting new people,.getting a badge,  building relationship,  yummy snacks, good days

Coming together

Thank you Lord for slowing down my brain, peaceful days,retirement coming together, beautiful campus, learn to forgive and checks

Behind the Scenes

 I am thankful God working behind the scenes.  I remember the little things that showed me not everything was okay for those who tormented me.  But also thanks for remembering to forgive people who hurt me so much,  Grateful that the Lord worked out situations that could of made my situation crazier.  Also God's hand of protection that nothing happened to mess up my life and my career.  Finding Elim again and how the Lord had it in his hand that I would return someday which is today.  Learning to admit my weaknesses and trusting that maybe things happened for a purpose.  Good day yesterday, nice meal, seeing the park benches and for peace in my body physically and mentally.  

When I have to take care of stuff that is not my fault: The princess syndrome

 Lately I have been struggling with dealing with taking care of stuff that is not my fault.  I want to get frustrated so often with other peoples stuff.  But I am learning that there is an opportunity to not be the princess and after I pray just do it.  

I am learning this lesson because I can't control others but I can me with God's help.

day off

I am thankful for improved sleep, lower rhr, day off no pain, lost items fou d, running, funny antics of bunnies,  work done in house, art process, knowledge  and most of all myLord

new job new experiences

I am thankful for nice people, nice and very patient trainers, figuring stuff out, good air conditioner, retirement  and family.

Lots of neat stuff

 Today was my first day of work at Elim.  We got a tour of all the buildings.  It is so amazing.  Literally from 3 to adult there is a place for you.  The facilities are just amazing.  I am so blessed. 

Blessings 2

 I am thankful that they were able to fix the crack in our basement without charging us.  I was able to complete a test I did not know about until the last minute.  Naps, air conditioning and a successful craft. 

blessings

Today I went to SsDa for my soc card.  I got my hair cut.  Ran a bit .  Did a lot of art.  Good day

Blessings

I am thanful for yesterday.  So .uch could of gone wrong but it went right.  My car battery died at home and I made it to church.    It died again after church but I had someone come out and gave me a jump.  It got repaired, had lunch, and I even got in a nap.  After I picked it up I even got a discount for being old.Even heard some good church messages.   Last it happened this week so I did not have to deal with situation before new job  started.  Thank you Lord

Weakness strength New Life

I am thankful for a good walk, time to recharge, new goal, hub and bunny time, good sleep

Goodbye

 I left without a good bye.  I am glad I did not have to do the goodbyes.  I still don't know how I feel but I am glad I did leave without a trace.  At the end each of my students that I really put time and effort into had their own goodbyes.  And when I got home I got my order with a notebook for my new job and a mug. from Elevation.  

Last night it was a nice meal.  I am glad though it is over and that things are done.  

Retirement

Today is the day I have been waiting for a long time.  If all goes well retirement.  I am thankful for God's hand getting me through this year, endings to bad stories,family who want to celebrate with me,new opportunities at Elim, nice weather, justice being served and last God's strength. 

The Cracks Keep on Coming

 I  have in my basement a crack that when it rains a lot the water comes through.  This is not good because I am sure it causes mold and could hurt my dryer if not taken care of.  But I am having someone come out to look at it and take care of it.

This goes for my last three and a half days of my job.  On Friday my co teacher said it took two and a half hours to come in because she had an appointment.  And then after lunch a meeting at the middle school.  Everyone believed her except me.  I could see right through it.

Also things that are not important to mention are also coming to a head.  

Frankly I am mixed about the cracks.  On one hand I am seeing God's justice but another it makes me sad.  I need to not be bitter or say that is not fair.  

I just need to stand strong on the last few days of this crazy situation. 

Seeing beyond the offense

I am thankful seeing beyond the offense, helpful husband,real picture of stuff, endings to bad stories, short daytoday,good messages on rejection,  funny things and nice weather.

Pause and Listen

 Yesterday I had some people really freak out and now I am learning that if I stop to pause I can see what is truly coming on.  It is not about what is fair but what is the situation

Cracks, Single Digits, Hugs and Kisses,

 I am thankful for the opportunities to see more cracks, single digit days, kisses and hugs by the tough students,Favor, my pets, my husband, Good weather, the Finishing up of tasks and the knowledge knowing that I am Jesus' s child.  Despite a lot of stupid I am protected. 

back to it

It is a busy time of year with all the stuff due, ending on job and starting another but I am thankful for God's protection.   Eight days and it is over.  Thank you Lord for helping me

Peaceful Weekend

 I am thankful for three tests today that were normal.  A peaceful weekend.  A chance to walk and run.  Using my craft skills.  11 days or 9 school days.  Two retirement parties.  A nice time all weekend with the hubs.  Good messages.  I am blessed.  No matter what happens today I am almost at the finish line.

Last Meeting for Certiified

 I am learning that anything I do is with Christ's help but I am learning that a lot of things I did were actually right.  I can't change others people but with the help of Christ I can do what is needed.

Some Things Never Change

 I sat in a meeting that really could of sent me to the mental basement.  All of the teachers were talking about all the trauma they have experienced this year.  Pretty much as I can see none of them are working ESY..  

They talk about next year and it is just one stupid after another.  I sit there and say to myself it does not matter.

Yes Elim will have some of the same issues but for a change I am not in charge.  

As I am sitting in my last meeting

 Today I am sitting in a meeting that is what is happening next year.  It could really make me sad because I am not going to be there next year but I am glad I am out next year.  

It is just time away from my classroom.  Pray and space out

Drug of Gossip and other misfortunes Talk Directly To the Source

 Yesterday I did another Science experiment with someone screaming and tantrumming.  Also people talking.  It really sucks.  Then after the experiment the kids threw the experiment I thought in the toilet.  After not doing it correctly.  One teacher went from room to room to find out the result.  Instead of talking to me directly I had it second hand.  It made me mad how the staff was reveling it and how I got no grace.    I found the gossip girl and confronted her and also appologized to the janitor. 

And then my staff did not give me the information for a student's tests and I was left holding the bag.  Makes me so angry.  

It is almost over.  I am glad. 

Tough Stuff

 I am thankful for the tough stuff.  Today we had a student freaking out about not getting what he wants.  Listening to my other staff and not reacting the Lord helped me through.  I realized I needed help and I accepted it, asked for it and felt not ashamed because I deserve it.  I also kept my cool.  That was a first.

Another student was freaking out and I was able with the help of the Lord handle it.  And in God's wisdom I was able to keep the teaching ship running and moving.

I can't change others but with the Lord's help I can change the situation and I know He has given me favor.  

Zoo and other things to be thankful for.

 I am thankful for some good weather outside, a chance to run and walk, Omari choosing me to sit with him on the bus, a good day for a field trip, stamina, good food, my hubby who made the food, fun crafts, naps, peaceful day, and the fact I am blessed with a mom and dad who love the Lord.  

such a tanglement

Yesterday I had my aides complain about me again.  I was so angry but then I realized they did not even know they were being so petty.  The hand of Satan is so heavy on them they don't know what they are doing.  

I can't change others but I can grow through the challenges 

Petty Things

 I did two excellent art projects and my aides complained again.  I want to scream.  But I am counting the days.  I should expect it and stupid happens over and over again.    Show me how to handle this.

Time to Remember and Blessings

 It was a good weekend.  I enjoyed being off and literally not doing that much other than walking.  And Sunday playing with kids, allowing myself to be part of their imaginary games and enjoying kids.  

But I wake up this morning and my sleep score is non restorative. I wake up stressed with the chaos I will probably face this week.  And I say to myself it is good I feel this way because it is essential to remember the whys of me being forced to leave, the challenge of finding other work and making the decision to retire.  

I count down the days of crazy.  I plan my remainder of the year and I see a slight finish to all the chaos.  

I see where I am made for kids ministry and how I do enjoy the challenges and the kids that I am blessed to minister to every week.  

I think about the time I figured out I was forced to resign.  It was literally 75 days and now it is 18.  How with only the help of the Lord I was able to keep myself sane.  

The foundations of a already crazy classroom are beginning to show the cracks and sometimes the gushes of chaos I did not see before.  I see the double standards of mistake making, the pressure, the gossip and I see if I was forced to stay within the situation I probably would of had a breakdown.  

Thank you Lord and show me how to bless someone today. 

unseen seen

Yesterday was quite the day but I am thankful for unseen seen, creativity, flexibility, no more ieps, avoiding fear of man,and God's wisdom.  The Lord must have some amazing plans at Elim

And the insanity rolls on

 First my co teacher comes in half an hour late.  The admins bring in possible canidates for my job.  They say one thing and do another.  I keep the class rolling and crazy happens.  They argue over stupid stuff.  I am so tired of this.  Can't wait to be in the teens soon.   I see where things are not fair and frankly I just don't care anymore.  This might be the first day I take an additional Hydroxine.  Glad I have tools to use.  Admins suddenly act like blond airheads when they are faced with some tough students.  coteacher kisses their butts and acts like they are a god of something.  

The Last IEP

 Today is the last IEP for me.  After that I will be finishing out the year and this summer just a para.  It is such a good feeling.  No one knows my secret of retirement.  In a way it is exciting knowing that there is a end to this crazy.  And no one knows it at all. 

Today I am thankful for a good Bible study. On my walk before the study  I also heard someone crying out in either pain or something spiritual.  As I got closer it got more intense.  I prayed a lot but I realize I am in a war everyday.

Yesterday was a tough day.  One student in particular is really struggling.  He calls out to Allah but I know who is the real source.  It is to Jesus.

I got to witness to my sub and share the Lord.  You never know where you will be used.

I am realizing that even though the medicine is helping me this is still a world of crazy and that I need to be thankful for the medicine and how important it is.  

I don't live with the realization of a demon popping out every corner but as I am going through all this I am more aware of the spiritual forces within. 

Crazy Times and Cracks in the Foundation

 As a homeowner there is always something that needs to be fixed.  Sometimes you take care of it right away and other times you just let it go.  I have some foundation in my basement I dealt with a few years ago and it is slowly needing repair again.  

This would explain my current job situation.  I could go to specifics from unruly students, two many bosses, lack of support and trying to make things with less and expecting more.  Today is a perfect example of that.  But also an opportunity.  

I see that many of the things I created or tried to do actually worked out and I am grateful for the opportunity to work them out.  I am not a bad teacher, I am not crazy.  I am just in CRAZY.

I see God's wisdom in chaos.  Today my bosses were supposed to spend the day with us.  It is only about two hours and school is getting out and they have not made an appearance.  Glad I am organized but at then end of the day to view is also crazy.  And one of the teachers is gone.  

I am so glad there are only 22 days left.  With God's help I can do it.

I see God's creativity with the crafts I have made, the games I am creating, the Science and social Studies with NO real curriculum.  

Ding DIng the Light Went On

 I am realizing that many of the things I did are okay this .  From Science, to tech, to Social Studies, and crafts it was okay.   Thanks Lord for giving me another perspective. 

calm weekend

This was a nice weekend to unwind and refocus.  I am thankful for my new job, my coming retirement,  a nice hubby,  nice house,gett8ng over my cold, figuring things out,  24 days left of school and just seeing the end of a tough situation.   

hard stuff

Today I had and am standing up for myself.   It is hard when it is all staff against you but I am glad I was able to do it.  It is not about winning but doing what is best for kids.

What a difference a day makes

Today I am thankful for white violets,help with tests,energy at the end of a day, finding ways to keep Mohammad calm, good evening with hubs, a lost gift card found, good night's sleep

Thankful

 Today I had some opportunities to be thankful.  After yesterday I started off with some real blessings.  First I found some white violets which I have not seen in 47 years.  My grandfather used to plant them just for me.  Then I was able to get all the kids on the computers.  Another blessing.  Then music that inspired me.   Twenty seven more days.  It is coming to a crazy close. 

Crazy and Happy Times

  Yesterday I was given a acceptance of letter from Elim in the Transitional Program.  I am so happy.  

Today we had a meeting with Amy and she basically told us how to handle a situation that really she should do.  No Surprise. 

I am glad I am off tomorrow.  I need a break but happy that in just 29 days I will be done with this insanity. 

Figuring Stuff out

Thank you Lord for helping me figure out stuff.  Mohammad for teaching non tech, Charlie and his class and how to do a Rto.  I choose to rely on God's wisdom not mine.  

Rules Keep on Changing

 I had a parent decided they want their child in a certain special.  It is obvious that it is not a good decision.  I explained why and even CCed my admin so they would not be surprised.  Instead of glad I did a heads up they decided to decide as a team what to do.  It is clearly an admin problem.  Guess the rules keep on changing.  I am so glad I am leaving. since my boss is coming to the cert. meeting.  So glad to be done with stupid. 

My replacement

 It is hard to know you are being replaced.  But grateful that it is almost over. 

Grateful 8

 I am grateful for my pension forms all coming together.  A good Bible study, I get to fit into Medium  shirt and Size 8 jeans. warmer weather,  a chance to get a good amount of wok done, less than 36 days left.  New clothes coming. A hip that does not hurt today.  Most of all I am thanful for God.   He is my rock and Savior. 

I should of had a mental breakdown yesterday.

 Yesterday could of been super crazy.  First of all I did not know what I was doing test wise.  I woke up super upset and it was just crazy.  Then I found out on the first day of testing my co teacher would not be there.  I also had two subs that were just either lazy or confused on what to do.  My aides suddenly did not want to do anything and were just mad Cathy was gone.  What should of been structured that a monkey could of navigated became literally a circus.  Then the testing was not smooth.  I had to go down four separate times to get the right stuff.  Noah was elevated all day and threw several chairs and tried to hit students, hit the SB, etc.  He was in a behavior from over two hours.  Then I was giving the test and my students were frustrated because it was super hard.  But I am thankful for peace in the midst of the storm.  I know God has a plan for all of this.  At least to teach me at least for next year that I can't live like this and that I need to rest, trust God in the impossible and crazy and just press forward.   I am so glad I did. Thank you Lord for making possible an impossible day. 

Crazy but Calm

 Today I found out one of my key people were gone.  Also I did get two subs but at first they were thinking it was going to be a easy gig and felt powerless when they were not sure after I told them what to do.  I also had testing and things were not set up right.  Kind of crazy.  But the Lord was merciful and things began to move along.  I am thankful for the Lord's help today.   Looks like I will be able to knock out the testing so I will be free on Wed for the crazy long meeting.

Still waiting for that first interview.  Still waiting on the retirement thing.  But God is faithful.  I see his hand in chaos and I know he was do it again. 

What if

Today I started to stressed about tomorrow. IAR with the kids, the computer and the daily stress.  And then my student's IEP I have not prepared for that great.  In the last moments I have done okay but also the stress of other people doing their job and I would get blamed for them really can have a girl overwhelmed.  And then knowing I am not coming back, basically got fired and am waiting on pins and needles for my retirement to come in for August.  And last my stress with the new job.  I really want Elim but I know it is in the Lord's hands.  And my hip is  really killing me.  Not sure if it is a break, bursitis or arthritis.  Did I also mention I feel really inadequate about being friendly at church. 

But I am taking it from another perspective.  Jesus has been there before and he will do it again.  IAR might be crazy but after tomorrow I will have a handle on what is going on.  The IEP I will survive, I will count down the days of insanity.  The Lord knows I am a teacher and he will help me through this.  And the hip.  I believe that the Lord will show me what to do.  And I can pray about church stuff.  

Today we had 85 kids in kids church. PM preached and the kids were really good and listening.  And a little boy chose me to hold his hand so he could feel safe searching for eggs.  It shows me that my work is not done.

When I have crazy dreams and anxiety I will turn my eyes on Jesus the author and the finisher of my faith. 

Feeling like Crap

 I did not get my work ID.  Frankly I am just happy I did not get it but it is another slam that I did not get one for the test of the year.  

Small things

 Today I am grateful for being able to focus on protection , getting out of a toxic situation, accepting things I can't change, no rain when I was outside, trusting God instead of myself, making some good decisions, and people not finding out stuff about me.  I can't change others but God can change me. 

gre8tful

I am thankful for a quick doctor visit.  A visit to a restaurant that showed me I no longer like it,good pets, good husband, healthy food, good weather, closed doors and funny cartoons.

Stress Level

 Today my mean boss was stressed.  I acted like I did not care.  I was involved but I just kept myself busy.  It is interesting how life is so crazy but you have to just do it.  I am thankful for the help of the Lord. 

More winks from God

 I am so thankful for the winks from God.  This morning I ran into the tech person.  She was able to see the problem and tell me I was not the problem.  

Yesterday I was able to fix the SB and figure out a way to clean up the dry erase board.  These are not accidents but ways I know God has his hand on me.  Also my hubby mentioned after I was a accused of not being tech savvy that I was.  Thank you Lord for the blessings you have for me.

I also got a mention in my job emails about Elim for a para.  I think this is the way to go.  I will wait until I get the call for an interview.

Godly wisdom

Today we had some tech problems. The Lord helped me figure out some tough stuff. God has a sense of humor.

Eroding from the Inside

 I am thankful for God's protection of things I see and what I do not see.  Also if I retired next year or the year after it would be less.  I just wish I knew where I am supposed to be.  I still pray that I will know where I am going to be. 

Blessings

 I am remembering the blessings of yesterday.  First I got through to my retirement line fast which had been unable to for a week.  Then I got done my evals.  My rascals Rayan and Mohammad showed me that they liked me by choosing me and then I think I got my testing done with Mohammad.  I also kept my cook when my aide was loosing it.  I can't change others but I can change myself using Christ as my main source of power. 

crazy

It seems like more and more crazy. Since Tony was fired we have had crazy more and more.  Staff getting stressed the foolishness and more dysfunctional situation. 

Retirement Ready

 I found out today I can retire.  That is good news.  The bad news is that it is really small but the good news is I can.  

Youre Fired

 Well I thought I would not get tenure, go on a remediation plan but instead I was not having my contract renewed.  

It is hard but I have not had time to really cry.  I updated my resume.  Sent info to my references to ask for their permission again.  I sent out some feelers for jobs.  Waiting is the hard part of the process but maybe the job I am supposed to have is not even available yet. 

Monday was okay.  I was able to keep my head and even had a few good lessons.  Why can't I learn the lessons ahead of time.  But it is okay.

Yesterday one of my students needed some advice.  I took my time and the Lord showed me what to do.  God is good. 

When I should be falling apart God is sustaining me.  Thank you Lord. 

More winks

 Yesterday after school mom read a devotional on Psalms 37.  It was just what I needed.  Then I went to the Ice Cream Fundraiser.  I prayed before I went in.  It was so neat.  I  sat with my student and his dad.  It was cool because I did not have to deal with the admin and teachers.  I did stop by afterwards and did some quick chit chat.  Thank you Lord for your help

More Winks

 I am learning about realizing my more winks.  I am not sure if I will have a job next year but I am grateful for someone who cleans up my mess.  I pray I can be a light, ask for forgiveness for my mistakes and accept what I can't understand. 

winks

Got to spend time over the weekend with family, hubs and friends.  Despite the chaos of today I see I am still loved.  Help me love others

Accepted welcome back to running

 I went for the second time in about a month to see all our running buds.  It was really nice seeing everyone.  I laughed and enjoyed the conversation and then when I returned from solo miles I was treated to hot coffee and more conversation.   I need this.  I need to get back to running and people who accept you for your unique self. 

The Trials of Gotcha but God's power

 Today I found out after the meeting I was being unofficially evaluated.  It made me mad that I literally had no warning and stuff I have not dealt with this year were suddenly brought up.  What is wrong with me that others can make mistakes and I get nailed for it all. I k

Despite the fact that this all happen  I know that God is much powerful.  He knows I need to work a few more years and that I am literally doing the best I can.  He has it under control. 

Pride

 The longer I am on this journey of this crazy year the more  I realize  how pride has gotten in my way.  I can't worry about other people think of me or how things occur.  

IT is so unsettling when you have stuff that is not finished and it is not certain where you will be next year.  

I guess I need to prepare for the worst.  I will be fired.  I will be at a crappy classroom next year.  I will end of at the same classroom next year.   I can't change others but I can change my own circumstances with the guidance of the HS. 

No Mistakes

 Today was a day where there were a lot of people making mistakes.  I made one and it just seemed magnified.  I was pretty discouraged with the whole tthing but then I thought about the good stuff I had did.  I can't change others but I am able to change my perspective with God's help

A Opportunity After Failure

 Today I got my eval.  IT was not good. I will not be tenured next year.  Lots was legit and some stuff was just crazy.  I  will do what I can and just do what I need to do. 

Out of My Confrol

 After listening to hours and hours of Mike's tirade of car shopping I just said I was wondering if we should pay off the house instead.  The next morning he went into a fit and basically put me my family and my wisdom down.  He apologized later but I am so tired.  Then I went to work and found out my staff is not happen with me again.  They can sit on their phones but if I take a time out on work I get nailed.  I am super tired of it all. 

Blessings on Blessings

 I wore a shirt I had worn exactly a year ago when my classroom celebrated cultural diversity day.  Funny how those things happen.  God winks  for sure.

I think about the goals I have worked on in my classroom including slow down and use my wackiness for good.  Funny how it all works out. 

Hard stuff, special surprises and the real truth comes on

 I am so thankful for the Lord helping when the hard things.  LIke testing that is a pain and uploading to documents.  

Also God has been helping me the pics from LL.  That is so random but not an accident because I know who helped me.

I am thankful for the real truth on issues.  I am thankful for even if I get thrown under the bus it does not really matter. 

LIttle Surprises

 I am thankful for today for little surprises.  The last few days I have found two photos for my Love Language Presentation.  I am grateful for creativity.

Cracks in the Foundation

 Today was a teacher meeting.  It always makes me nervous when I go but today there was stuff that was actually helpful.  It also showed me that the things are not perfect and we all struggle with crazy.   

weekend

I am still trusting God for the unknowns and getting through impossible situations. 

I can see clearly now

Today I had a in-service.  Everyone who came in after me got a spot but the people just ignored me.  I went to my old program director and without saying anything told them I wanted to come back. She wants me back but stuff she heard I am flexible.   They are talking about changes next year.  Hope I get the change.  

The best I can do

 Yesterday after being told I was not being evaluated I found out I was at the last minute.  As a whole I am glad this happened so I really did not have time to get nervous.  I think it went as well as it could.  Thank you Lord for helping me do the lesson. 

Rewards of a different kind

 God has really given me favor with two of my rascals.  I see where God has it and how I am able to help these kids.  Then Cathy had to do the academic thing.  Tomorrow at that meeting I will get there and not sit with her. 

It just keeps getting more stupid but I see God's hands in all of it

 Today was the second day this week one of my fellow workers tried to put me down in front of others.  I handled it as best as I could and try to do what was right.  Then all these things happened where stupid and other peoples stuff kept on happening.    I am glad it is day 88 and that this stupid will not be happening much longer.  175 days will be done before I know it.  

And just other things people say.  One thing do another and then the rules keep on changing. 

I am okay

 Thank you Lord for a better day and more calm behavior.  My staff did not even know it.  I know you worked it out.  I can't change others but I can change myself with the help of Christ. 

Last ten minutes

 It never ceases to amaze me how when you are the most exhausted  things can go sideways.  I was super tired after putting out all myself.  So I decided to let the chips fall where they may.  It was crazy.  My aide totally freaked out.  My other aide went home early and no one really backed me up.  I was quite discouraged but determined that it is not about me but how the Lord is going to handle it.  Suddenly after some pep talks from my mom and hubby I am finally okay.  I can't change others but I can allow God to show me what to do. 

Creativity

 Today was a pretty good day.  I got a lot done and the kids were pretty good as a whole.  I have been working on some workouts and an article on Nerodivergent LL.  Thank you Lord for helping me be creative and getting to use my talents and abilities. 

What if I just did not care

 Today my silent enemy was helping out at kids church.  Everything she had to have a hand in.  It was initially frustrating but then I realized I used to be that girl who had to get into everything.   I am learning to just be and then I realize things go so much better and without stress.  I asked the Lord to forgive me for my pride, give up my people pleasing ways and just be.  When I finished my portion of the lesson one of the teens gave me a big smile.  That felt so good.  I am so thankful!

Thank you Lord

 The last few days back at school have been good.  Also I feel confident about about eval I have next week.  I see where the hand of God has been so helpful!  Life is not perfect but I am learning a lot. 

Grateful 2026

 I would say that this vacation with the hubs has been the best in our 28 years of marriage.  I am grateful for so much!  As I turn to go to work again I realize that I am going to not take things so seriously and I literally could walk away from this point forward.  

I am changing.  Pacing is not so important to me.  I am walking, running for me.  

And I know that the Lord has been with me before and He will be with me again.