Wow what a week

 Never in my life have I had a student like Sebastian.  He was only 5 but I never heard anyone swear as much as him.  I saw PDST, Bi Polar, AHDA, Dillustional and also properly some demonic opression and possession.  This child was not only constantly on the move but also doing dangerous things all day.  Some days I tallied over 250 to 300 dangerous behavior.   I will continue to pray for Sebastain but I feel like I have been part of a war. 

Everyone had answers but frankly they were good to the world but absolutely stupid.  I saw people who wanted to help me but I also saw others who used my situation to make themselves look better.

This weekend has been good.  I needed some rest from the war.  I did not get written up.  I still have my job and this child is gone. 

I also have some kids that are really challenging as they are 15 to 18 months of age.  I am supposed to teach them yet their academic abilities are so limited.  I wonder how much is a DD and others environment.  

Friday night I saw some people who in the past have caused me damage.  And I looked at them and realized my life was better because of their mistakes. 

I see so many believers that I considered great people of God go back and either stay where they are or see things that are evil are not acceptable to me anymore.

Thank you Lord for helping me to be strong.  Thank you for all the good and bad experiences.  

I am now debating what worlds i am returning to.  Running groups.  It is so much easier to run alone and on my time table.  But after all the posts for my birthday I wonder what I should go back to.  They need Jesus too.

I am also thinking of leaving the WBT community.  I may never get to that level of teaching and the pressure and the stress of always having to be on and trying new things and especially this year I can't use any of it I wonder if it is my time to say goodbye.

Jumping to Conclusions

 I have worked really hard not to but today I really blew it.  I was coming back from my special and I had to grab four of my students while the one was running down the hall.  He locked me out a few times.  Finally I was able to get him to sit down.  Then the case worker came in and said he was hurting himself with a rope.  I stupidly did not ask the cw to call herself but instead sent a message myself.  I am really scared.  I tried to get help for this kid for the past week and a half.  It has been almost impossible to get anything done in my room.  I tried to keep my cool and follow the proper channels.  Unfortunately I lost it with my boss.  Then today I left a message.  Stupid me. I know I will get written up for this.  I have tried to not to this year.  But my emotions got away from me.  So hopefully at best I will be written up and worst lose my job.  Lord work this crazy situation out.  I am so mad about me goofing up and upset that other people did not do their job.  I am trying to handle it but apparently this is a God problem and I have to learn from the situation problem. 

No Baggage

 One of the lessons I have been learning is that I need to throw off my former baggage.  Baggage from my last job, of the previous day, opinions, treatment etc.  I choose instead to leave things in the hands of the Lord. 

I made my boss mad and I am glad I did

 Yesterday I left my student with my boss.  It was my break and I needed a break.  After 5 minutes she gave him to someone else and then became upset with me because I could not handle him.  I have no help and I have several students who are flight risks.  I learned that I can't fight battles with her because even through she is wrong I can't win.  I am proud of myself that I could voice my needs.  Never in my life could i be content to make someone mad.  I used to be a people pleaser.  No more. But I learned I need to choose my words carefully and that they can easily trap me.  

Proverbs 28: 18   28Even a fool is considered wise when he keeps silent,

discerning when he seals his lips. 

Prov 3:5-6

Living in the Grave Yard of Other Peoples Bad Decisions

 It has been quite an adventure for the past few weeks.  First I am inodiated with HELP😛😛that is totally worthless.  I am very open to suggestions but sometimes it never cease to amaze me how the experts can be completely and utterly morons.  It also does not take any brain power to raise kids.  They are so behind.  Academics are put on the back burner and teaching appropriate social skills comes first.  Then promises after promised not kept such as not adding kids to my caseload.  And the three I am getting are from extremely dysfunctional families.  But I need to remember that my value and worth is from the Lord and even if I have moments of greatness and no one sees I know you do Lord.  Help me Lord in these challenges.  I do make mistakes and I hate to but I move forward and fix them.  It is still challenging to fix other peoples mistakes.  I have on my blinders and I forget what the rest of the world is doing and just focus on myself.  Nothing is appreciated and actually no help is given but I am sure that the Lord will come through just like he did for Joseph in the prison and the Pharoah's kingdome. 

Romans 8:28 (ESV): 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.Romans 8:28
Genesis 50:20 (ESV): 20 As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.

English Standard Version