Bitter vs. Better

 I guess it all started when I asked my pastor a few years ago to pray for me.  Some pretty intense stuff was happening.  He brushed it off.  Then later I needed some ideas for therapy so I emailed him and he did not respond but I contacted a pastor at Moody and within a day I was on my way to Christian therapy.  More recently I caught him talking about my mentors negatively and then I was in the hospital.  No contact.  No visit.  When I mentioned about my dad he stated he wished he had extensive heart surgery he could take a break like that.  The people he surrounds him I had this gut feeling that things are not good.  I am not jealous or bitter but I am beyond disappointment and so I need to do what is best for me in the meantime.  Thankful for my new job and that I go to Elevation every other week.  

Now I am looking to a new year.  I need to loose weight and change up how I work out.  I am waiting for the next step in my spiritual and social life.  

I have to decide what I can control and what I can't control.  How the pastor responds to me I can't control.  I can't control who people have friends with.  But I can control how I respond and what I put in my mouth.