Doors close, doors open.....

I am still being challenged by the fact that some doors have closed in my life.  At Christmas I felt like with the choir I had done a great job singing the solo with the choir.  Many people complimented me and even my students who are very honest were impressed. The signing went well as well.  And then Easter nothing. The signing I was supposed to do was suddenly forgotten.  The two months I had been practicing were for naught. 
 And now recently I have done nothing with the music ministry. No dates to be on team and the group is now made mostly of 20 and 30s somethings with just a few older musicians in the back. I have my ideas why when it does not minimize the reasons and questions why.   I sit in church frustrated why  I am suddenly forgotten after I was on team at least two to three times a month for the last two years. 

Then I look to the Lord and I know that He has my back.  I have other opportunities open to me such as the coaching three hours a week as a group fitness instructor.  My summer school is going great.  The Lord is amazing how He helps me with a pretty chaotic situation.   I have amazing kids and super staff.  Even the frustrations with my boss are not affecting me.  I am coaching for the marathon and I can feel the Lord's hand as I run.  The participants in the training group are fantastic.


I know that the Lord is with me.  I don't know the reasons why but despite my questions I give my reasoning to Him.  I see my friend who was also on team with her arms crossed and she is not worshipping either.  What happened.  Why is she responding this way?  Why did I see it and no one else.  I know that it is all about the Lord so I make the choice to worship despite my own feelings.  But I won't lie when I tell you it is really hard.

I love the chapter in Psalms 139   in verses 6-7 it says

You hem me in behind and before,
    and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

I know that the Lord has given me the talent to sing and to sign.  He has been so awesome helping me recently get over so many fears and difficult situations.  I choose to trust  Him that He will in his time provide a place to sign and sing.  Until then I will use the opportunities given to me and do them well.