Yesterday and Arguing with Fools

 It was an interesting day yesterday.  My boss came in and said that I was not in charge of the classroom yet I had to spend half the day in the other sped room.  Then my co-teacher took 20 more minutes on her prep leaving the kids with nothing to do.  I also took ALL the children to music with no help from the other aide.  The day in the other room went well.  The kids in my classroom are finally realizing that when the other teacher is gone they behave because I am a loving person.  I did everything at lunch, snack and cleaning up everything.  The other co teacher did not show up until an hour and a half that school started.  They still talk behind my back that I can sometimes hear.  I purposely tune it out and focus on the children.  I am also going to do a rebuttal on the walk through.  I found my last one so I am going to show that it is was not a true indication of the room. 

Also after sitting on her bumm I am starting to stand up for myself.  She refuses to let Nelson take more than Mikalia's back pack and when her one charge left the room she blamed me.  I disagreed with her but I kept silent because it is foolish to argue with stupid.  You will never win. 

Proverbs 26:4-14 In-Context

2 Like a fluttering sparrow or a darting swallow, an undeserved curse will not land on its intended victim.

3 Guide a horse with a whip, a donkey with a bridle, and a fool with a rod to his back!

4 Don’t answer the foolish arguments of fools, or you will become as foolish as they are.

5 Be sure to answer the foolish arguments of fools, or they will become wise in their own estimation.

6 Trusting a fool to convey a message is like cutting off one’s feet or drinking poison!

7 A proverb in the mouth of a fool is as useless as a paralyzed leg.

8 Honoring a fool is as foolish as tying a stone to a slingshot.

9 A proverb in the mouth of a fool is like a thorny branch brandished by a drunk.

10 An employer who hires a fool or a bystander is like an archer who shoots at random.

11 As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness.

12 There is more hope for fools than for people who think they are wise.

13 The lazy person claims, “There’s a lion on the road! Yes, I’m sure there’s a lion out there!”

14 As a door swings back and forth on its hinges, so the lazy person turns over in bed.

15 Lazy people take food in their hand but don’t even lift it to their mouth.

16 Lazy people consider themselves smarter than seven wise counselors.

The interview went well and the pay is slightly lower than now but it is so much closer.  I also have a lot of opportunity to get continued education.  This is good.  Mike thinks I should grab it. 

Well five more days till spring break.  A lot can happen between then.  I am thankful for my loving children but I am learning to not allow other people's opinions affect me.  Last I am learning not to dwell on it.  That is a sin. 

 

A Night To Sleep on It

 I have had a night to sleep on the previous incident.  Hurrying has been a habit and sometimes I don't focus on the important stuff.  But on the other hand my boss has not been in my room at all and I know she complied the list from others and not from her own observation.  She also has not helped or suggested at all.  Just a second walk through.  

With only 40 days left in the year I will focus on the things I can change and not worry about the things I cannot in this short span of time.  I will sit and think about this and maybe take the leap of faith and ask for help since she is my boss.  I will not listen to others and if their advice is helpful I will integrate it.  For the rest of the year if I am in charge I will just do things the boring way they are doing it except for the long videos.  

I trust God you have this and that I will have a job somewhere somehow.   Help me stay positive and be nice.  I have disagreed with stupid and it is like arguing with a pig.  I get messy and have nothing to show for it. 

Worst Walkthrough Ever

 

I got the worst walk through ever in my 16 years at Matteson.  My boss has not been in only one time and I was teaching a student I did not have much experience with. I am pretty bummed because the evaluation is based on others opinions not her. She also did not give me guidance  at all. This is a new position and I have more than tried to be nice, do everything required and etc.  I am sad but probably I will be on a retention plan next year. I wish I would of taken the job in South Holland but honestly I know that was not the right decision. Thanks for praying. God must have a plan for me

Tomorrow I am going to look the form over and try to be objective.  I will pray and ask for wisdom.  I will not jump to conclusions.  I will submit evidence that it is inaccurate and ask for concrete ways the walk though can be addressed.  I will ask for an additional walk though and pray that things will go better. 

 

A New Attitude

 I was doing something different in my classroom.  I prayed before the people came.  I prayed as I cleaned and when I dealt with tough situations.  It was still tiring and I was pretty stressed out when it was all said and done.  Glad it is over but nothing bad really happened to me today.  The other teacher took no one out today and instead of saying something to my lazy aides they praised them when earlier I had dealt with similar situations.  I leave  it in your hands.  Doing the right thing is  super hard. 

Lessons Learned from my mistakes and others

 Friday was an absolutely terrible day.  First of all I forgot my lunch and had to go back but I made it back on time.  Second I checked my Class Dojo account and a grandmother whom I had spoken to sent me an message telling me what a big deal it was about her grandson's cm cut.  It was literally that small and that she had cleaned and rubbed it so hard it bled all over the bandage.  It was nothing.  Then another student came in screaming and crying.  She had her fingers cut from some glass from another student on the bus.  The bus aide lied and said it happened at home.  Later she got kicked by a spoiled student in the classroom and I did not see it but I saw that the spoiled one had taken a weighted blanket from that first student.  That led to two phone calls with a parent who has a phone number that has International Ministries on her label on the phone number and basically almost yelled two times at me for relaying this information which was not my fault.  The last call she just hung up.  Then as I came back from lunch the one aide was upset that I did not contact her or the parents about her behavior.  I stated I did not see it and wasn't that her responsibility since she is contacting parents without the districts permission.  The co-teacher stated the blanket was MM and I stated I brought in the blanket and it was for everyone who needed it.  She continued to disagree with me and I decided that the blanket would go home with me.  Later in the day she told me I was supposed to take Jamarr on the bus and I stated that Mrs. Rudy would do it.  She again began to argue with me and when I approached my boss about it I was told that I needed to go to the bus no matter what.  In the midst of the situation Polk called MM parent and said something about the situation.   My boss also interrupted a phone call and I had to deal with the emergencies immediately.  If I can I will pause and pray. If not a quick response like Help will have to do.   I was so mad at myself that I wear my emotions on my sleeve.  The Lord told me He made me that way and even though I suffer from it I can choose to make better choices.

Instead of causing any havoc in the classroom I will clean and pray.  They have left it like a medium hordering situation.  I pride myself that this has not happened lately for me. 

I had a student have a 45 minute temper tantrum.  I sure hope I don't get nailed for that since I had to hold him or he would of ran away.  For the rest of the year he is going to basically get whatever he wants it is not worth getting in trouble for abuse and bad parenting.  Later in the day he saw me and was happy to see me, did run away from me when I needed to fix something and none of my aides were helping.  I also got to call his mother who stated he did that stuff at home. 

Then I got on the train.  Because it left 4 minutes late I missed the connecting train.  The doors of the train opened up on the wrong side and I went after chasing the train and I was approached by an officer and had to show my ID and almost got a mandatory 500 fine and court date.  I was so mad at the day I was really nasty to my husband. Despite the crappy situation we came up with a plan and my husband picked me up on a later train on the other line.  In the future if this happens I won't go on train tracks, stay on the first train and call my husband or a cab when I got to the La Salle Station. 

We came up with a solution and then we went to the concert.  At the concert we met my oldest friend in the area and we talked.  She has been a teacher about as long as me.  I told her stupidly about the incident with the window and she told me about how she hated her job and the kids.  How sad.  Honestly I love the kids, don't know what to do in many of the situations and frequently get frustrated and mad from my boss and staff in my room and those outside of it.   I need to not react when someone makes the horridness of the situation apparent.  I pray for Cheryl that she will get the joy of children again and that next time something happens I will say the right thing. 

I chose in the future to realize that disagreeing with any person including my boss in that school is pointless and stupid.  I need to stay out of the gossip even if it means I can't share my feelings with everyone.  Dogs come back to their vomit.  I don't want to be a dog but a bunny who is loving, kind and carefree.  

Last I did get the job in South Holland and it sounded great.  I did have some concerns about travel time and also in the seedy neighborhoods.  The pay was 20000 less than I am currently making right now and that I would lose tenture.  

I pray for a more peaceful day.  When chaos happens I will not be near the children.   When the teachers are talking in a corner I will chose not to listen especially if it sounds remotely about me.  Lord protect me and give me a day of peace.  It is a sorry day when I have to do full crazy reports on students who have one cm long injuries and people can lie so well honestly I think they  lie to themselves. 

So close....

 Well I got an offer from my first interview but it was almost 20000 less than what I am making now so I turned it down.  I am glad I got the offer but things just keep on getting crazier and crazier.  I got a call from Dr. Healy about my student Jamarr.  No one wants to take responsibility for things and now the Grandma is saying stuff that did not happen.  

So I have to clean up messes my teacher who arrived an hour and a half late, came back from her special 15 minutes late and left half an hour early ....  I am so tired of the blame game.  The OT tried to blame me for Chloe not having her headphones and I tried to protect one  of the teachers so I did not have to have the retrocessions of the incident.  

Well it is only about 38 days left.  I am so glad. Hopefully I will have a good interview this Thursday. 

Backwards and Upside Down

 It has been quite the week and it is only Wednesday.  First of all I was supposed to have a meeting with sped.  The meeting kept on being pushed back.  Finally a week later it happened.  I was told that my kids who are functioning at a toddler level should be able to eat their lunch and watch a movie for 40 minutes.  That is crazy.  

Also they asked if we were lesson planning together.  I said no.  They gave a few suggestions which were good but then seemed like they did not notice the kids and the fact that the aide and teacher were just sitting around or talking to them.

Yesterday it was 3 and a half hours they were watching screen time.  It gets hard watching this. The other teacher comes in late, leaves early and gets back from lunch late.  And it is okay.  And the sped and my boss don't fight it. 

I do have a interview for a job I really don't want.  It is in a seedy area and getting there is challenging with a train track that is unpredictable.  But this is empowering to me and I will look with discernment with pay, location, attidue etc.  If they offer it immediately.  I will be concerned. 

I had a good morning in the other sped room.  The kids are fun and it is rewarding to see their attitude.