As I am sitting in my last meeting

 Today I am sitting in a meeting that is what is happening next year.  It could really make me sad because I am not going to be there next year but I am glad I am out next year.  

It is just time away from my classroom.  Pray and space out

Drug of Gossip and other misfortunes Talk Directly To the Source

 Yesterday I did another Science experiment with someone screaming and tantrumming.  Also people talking.  It really sucks.  Then after the experiment the kids threw the experiment I thought in the toilet.  After not doing it correctly.  One teacher went from room to room to find out the result.  Instead of talking to me directly I had it second hand.  It made me mad how the staff was reveling it and how I got no grace.    I found the gossip girl and confronted her and also appologized to the janitor. 

And then my staff did not give me the information for a student's tests and I was left holding the bag.  Makes me so angry.  

It is almost over.  I am glad. 

Tough Stuff

 I am thankful for the tough stuff.  Today we had a student freaking out about not getting what he wants.  Listening to my other staff and not reacting the Lord helped me through.  I realized I needed help and I accepted it, asked for it and felt not ashamed because I deserve it.  I also kept my cool.  That was a first.

Another student was freaking out and I was able with the help of the Lord handle it.  And in God's wisdom I was able to keep the teaching ship running and moving.

I can't change others but with the Lord's help I can change the situation and I know He has given me favor.  

Zoo and other things to be thankful for.

 I am thankful for some good weather outside, a chance to run and walk, Omari choosing me to sit with him on the bus, a good day for a field trip, stamina, good food, my hubby who made the food, fun crafts, naps, peaceful day, and the fact I am blessed with a mom and dad who love the Lord.  

such a tanglement

Yesterday I had my aides complain about me again.  I was so angry but then I realized they did not even know they were being so petty.  The hand of Satan is so heavy on them they don't know what they are doing.  

I can't change others but I can grow through the challenges 

Petty Things

 I did two excellent art projects and my aides complained again.  I want to scream.  But I am counting the days.  I should expect it and stupid happens over and over again.    Show me how to handle this.

Time to Remember and Blessings

 It was a good weekend.  I enjoyed being off and literally not doing that much other than walking.  And Sunday playing with kids, allowing myself to be part of their imaginary games and enjoying kids.  

But I wake up this morning and my sleep score is non restorative. I wake up stressed with the chaos I will probably face this week.  And I say to myself it is good I feel this way because it is essential to remember the whys of me being forced to leave, the challenge of finding other work and making the decision to retire.  

I count down the days of crazy.  I plan my remainder of the year and I see a slight finish to all the chaos.  

I see where I am made for kids ministry and how I do enjoy the challenges and the kids that I am blessed to minister to every week.  

I think about the time I figured out I was forced to resign.  It was literally 75 days and now it is 18.  How with only the help of the Lord I was able to keep myself sane.  

The foundations of a already crazy classroom are beginning to show the cracks and sometimes the gushes of chaos I did not see before.  I see the double standards of mistake making, the pressure, the gossip and I see if I was forced to stay within the situation I probably would of had a breakdown.  

Thank you Lord and show me how to bless someone today.