Leadership, Trusting God , Culmination of Experiences

 This week has been a week of crazy ups and downs.  First of all Sunday I went to church and I have been struggling with childrens church with other peoples decisions that are not my own.  When if effects me and it is about music I really take it personally but when I did worship Sunday I found that what was supposed to be just lyrics the pastor had added motions.  Initially it made me mad because I was unprepared but I decided to roll with it and just do what I could.  Then Monday hit and no break.  I felt like I was going crazy in my room with noise, activity and the like.  No help from my aide she just sat there like a bump on a log.  Then Tuesday I was super sick and had to teach through a major migraine all day.  Wednesday was a day of victory as I tried some new things with my challenging student and it worked.  Thursday my student did not reappear and I was sad I could not practice with him for my absences in April.  I was also frustrated because again my boss in her moments of being overwhelmed made me feel like my aide's chronic lazy behavior was my fault.  Also that I had it easy with my job of students who had constant tantrums and I had to navigate discipline in a Covid limited consequence world.  But again I leave what I can't control into God's hands.  I can't control my aide, my principal's bad decisions and the situations where my pastor is being manipulated by others.  For the music I choose to be respectful and do what he says without frustration or malice, I put myself with my kids in the best situation but remember that sometimes there are things I can't control like someone who does not get my job or an aide who refuses to do her work.  I am thankful for so many things like a new car, a husband who is faithful and some time off next week I can recharge, get caught up in life and prepare for the last few weeks of school.  I need to remember that with new levels of challenge and victories come new frustrations.  I can choose to wallow in frustration or move forward.  Honestly I believe more that my students benefiting my me I have learned how wot listen to the Holy Spirit and do what He tells me to do.  

DeVaughn

 I have changed attitudes since my last post.  I am looking at this situation as a challenge but I am excited to further my skills.  I want the autism expert to succeed.  I want to find things that work.  Lord I pray that this will be a successful experience with Kaylee, myself and Toni.  Bring wisdom and ideas to all of us.  I want to do things your way God.  Thanks so much Lord. 

Not the way it should be

 At first I was excited about the changes at my school.  It seemed like I was where I needed to be.  Then my world came crushing down with people trying to find out my weaknesses.  I have a meeting tomorrow where we are going to figure out how to help this kid in my class.  I am open to suggestions and I will try all of them but it is frustrated when all the work and prayer you have done seems to be for nothing.  Help me Lord as I walk into a meeting where the world could make me feel totally helpless.  Get rid of my pride and be open to new things but let me stay victorious even in the midst of a tough situation.  People who are weak make others feel weak.  Let me learn from the experience and see how NOT to handle a situation.  God you are in control.  Let my cause shine like the noonday sun. 

April 9, 2021 few weeks have emerged since this post.  My little rascal was supposed to leave but due to laziness of the parent not wanting her child going to another school and being responsible for getting children ready for school at different times has decided he should stay with me.  The HELP I was supposed to get has been anything but present and the opinions still linger but frankly they are out of advice.  This is ok though.  God showed me that Devaughn was not put in my life for his betterment but for me to see that whatever is given to me I can handle if I trust you God.  

Pause and Pray

My two big issues.  Over eating and also jealousy.  I will pause and pray. 

My new motto

I will make a decision to look at things from all angles.  When I am upset I will take a break and leave the feeling and emotion on the shelf.  I will plan my day but be flexible that life will happen and I need to roll with it.   I will look at challenges as opportunties to benefit my current and future self and embrace the ability to leave stuff in God's hands.

Proverbs 14:30 ESV / 910 helpful votes 

A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.

The ugly head of jealousy reared his head on Saturday when I went to my weekly meeting.  I was just waiting to be recognized but all that happened was that I am criticized when I made a mistake.   Initially I was angry but then I realized there is a purpose I am not recognized and that is okay.  

God is in charge of my successes and failures and He knows the paths that should be opened and what should be closed.

Jealous and Let Go

I sat in the teacher meeting so angry and jealous.  I was just waiting to get the news but it did not come.  I have changed my tune.  If it comes for certification I will be patient.  I am just thankful to be a part of the team.


I want to teach but I can't with an unhealthy situation.  I will allow God to work.  If I am supposed to do it I will get asked.  If not I will realize that ship has sailed.


Coaching for the marathon.  I let others irratants get to me.  I will set my boundaries and If I am to coach I will.

Instead of relying on Chris I will relay on Christ.