This week has been a week of crazy ups and downs. First of all Sunday I went to church and I have been struggling with childrens church with other peoples decisions that are not my own. When if effects me and it is about music I really take it personally but when I did worship Sunday I found that what was supposed to be just lyrics the pastor had added motions. Initially it made me mad because I was unprepared but I decided to roll with it and just do what I could. Then Monday hit and no break. I felt like I was going crazy in my room with noise, activity and the like. No help from my aide she just sat there like a bump on a log. Then Tuesday I was super sick and had to teach through a major migraine all day. Wednesday was a day of victory as I tried some new things with my challenging student and it worked. Thursday my student did not reappear and I was sad I could not practice with him for my absences in April. I was also frustrated because again my boss in her moments of being overwhelmed made me feel like my aide's chronic lazy behavior was my fault. Also that I had it easy with my job of students who had constant tantrums and I had to navigate discipline in a Covid limited consequence world. But again I leave what I can't control into God's hands. I can't control my aide, my principal's bad decisions and the situations where my pastor is being manipulated by others. For the music I choose to be respectful and do what he says without frustration or malice, I put myself with my kids in the best situation but remember that sometimes there are things I can't control like someone who does not get my job or an aide who refuses to do her work. I am thankful for so many things like a new car, a husband who is faithful and some time off next week I can recharge, get caught up in life and prepare for the last few weeks of school. I need to remember that with new levels of challenge and victories come new frustrations. I can choose to wallow in frustration or move forward. Honestly I believe more that my students benefiting my me I have learned how wot listen to the Holy Spirit and do what He tells me to do.
No comments:
Post a Comment