Ever since my new charge has started and when I went back to work after my illiness I have been sleeping poorly even on the weekends. I made the decision to go back completely on the medication. It has been quite a year and initially I was embarrassed to go back but I know after thought and lots of prayer it is the right decision. If I were to stay at my former place I could of gone off the meds but not now.
So I do not feel like a failure but I am proud of myself for taking the step to do what is best for myself, others and what will help me be a better person.
Also I am thinking of quitting kids church. The last of structure, the absence of discipline and the typical annoyances of kids and parents have made me think my time is limited there. I am praying about how to handle it. I honestly don't want to go back to adult church. There is so much chaos from the people who are unstable to the pastor who shares his personal feelings, beliefts, feelings, puts his foot in his mouth. It is ia mess but I can't leave until my husband has another opportunity to use his music somewhere else. I give it to you Lord. I am not jumping. I am praying for resolution.
I think about how so many things that frustrated me have worked out. From poor management in work and church to things that frustrated me in the world are working out.
Moving forward I will do what I am supposed to do, keep my mouth shut and just do what I need to do. It is a lonely place but I know the less I say it clears the noise away and keeps me hearling the Lord.
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