Chaos to Christ's Control

 Summer has been quite the time for me to ask for God's control.  First a student who is so powerful he gives chaos wherever he is.  Spending the last few days of summer school just praying that I can get through it and trusting God for the answers in the moment.  Yesterday I had an experience where someone came in halfway through the class and caused complete chaos to a student who has been making strong strides to good choices.  I asked for wisdom and someone else gave me the answers.  I am so happy for all the experiences where I have a new opportunity to trust.

Now I am ending a few things and waiting for new things.  I am excited about working with younger kids and the opportunity to help kids as they transition from the pandemic to a hopefully more normal season in the classroom.  

Little Things

 I realized today that I can't change when a student won't do what I want.  I need to have a smaller goals and monitor all things.  Also I need to be stricter and monitor things to ridiculousness.  And keep my hands off kids at all costs. 

Glad tomorrow is it.

Not an accident

 Yesterday I happened to read on FB someone who was experiencing something that was identical to my former situation fifteen years ago.  I was able to share that I would be praying for her and that I understood her situation.  I know that was not an accident.

The other day I was sad initially because my boss was paying more attention to others than me.  Then I realized that she was stressed out.  No one else saw that but me.  And frankly I don't want to be one of her favorites because with that comes more work.  I don't need it. 

I noticed Joyce Meyer was at another church yesterday and I got to watch the program.  Definitely not an accident.  

Concern about today and retiring from the Chris show

 Over the weekend I listened to a lot of great messages.  Three of the messages were about allowing God to fix problems and not worrying over the stuff in the future.  There is nothing wrong with being prepared but sometimes when we have done all the right things we just need to allow the Lord to fix what we can't fix.

Yesterday I knew the fireworks were going to be crazy so I put on special music for my pets.  I really struggled sleeping and tried all the right things to be calm but I realized I should of called peace to my house and those in it.  I needed to ignore the complaining of others on FB who did not try to keep their pets and household calm.  Sometimes we try to fix the problem ourselves.  My mom tries to keep my dad happy.  I try to keep my husband happy.  That is good but sometimes all I can do is pray and move on with a calm delight.

Dumb dumb shared the worship experience with my husband.  He did not get it at all.  That is okay.  Calm delight. 

Closed and open doors

 I have not been in a regular services for quite some time.  It is hard because I know I wanted to be up there on the worship team.  Service started again and there was this dude that is getting on team that is even older than me.  I asked God why.  Then worship began and I listened to the service and the Lord took me aside and asked me do you really want to be a part of this without having an attitude.  I said no.  Without a attitude of the quality, songs chosen the Lord showed me really that this was not my place but children's churchw was.  

I am not sure how long my classes, my writing for the books, and the other stuff will last but this is what is in front of me and i will enjoy it.

Lonely but not going back to stupid

 Today was boss said hi.  She barely  did.  I know I am not her favorite person and frankly I don't want to be but it still hurt

My husband is still not home from work.  It is almost 8.  

I finished my class today and tomorrow is crazy.  My classroom is goofy.  I feel so out of control.

God I know you listen.  Thanks for being there. 

A friend of mine tries to bash one of my former friends.  I want to get sucked into it but I stay out of it.  

I know that person is toxic just like the other people. 

Dryer Saga

 t is amazing how a simple dryer can be such a problem.  First our dryer quit working.  I called the repair guy and he said basically I needed a new dryer.  Okay that saved 100 bucks.  Then we ordered one.  Awesome.  Being delivered Saturday and then changed two times. We decided to cancel the order.  Then we shopped around and found a better deal and a delivery date.  Then they changed it to the middle of the month.  In the midst of the situation dryer 1 company has now charged my credit card twice and we canceled two weeks ago.  Then my husband goes out and purchases yet another one and now we have a delivery date of Friday.  Frankly I am just waiting for the first place to deliver it and then cancel the other two.  It is amazing how a first world problem can really stress you out.  I choose to remember I can dry my laundry on a couch, stationary bike and all will be well until we get a dryer.  In the meantime I will remember to be careful with all my appliances so I don’t have to replace any more for a while.  I acknowledge this is stressful but it is not the end of the world.  I can’t change how others respond but I can change mys