Today was the second day this week one of my fellow workers tried to put me down in front of others. I handled it as best as I could and try to do what was right. Then all these things happened where stupid and other peoples stuff kept on happening. I am glad it is day 88 and that this stupid will not be happening much longer. 175 days will be done before I know it.
And just other things people say. One thing do another and then the rules keep on changing.
Thank you Lord for a better day and more calm behavior. My staff did not even know it. I know you worked it out. I can't change others but I can change myself with the help of Christ.
It never ceases to amaze me how when you are the most exhausted things can go sideways. I was super tired after putting out all myself. So I decided to let the chips fall where they may. It was crazy. My aide totally freaked out. My other aide went home early and no one really backed me up. I was quite discouraged but determined that it is not about me but how the Lord is going to handle it. Suddenly after some pep talks from my mom and hubby I am finally okay. I can't change others but I can allow God to show me what to do.
Today was a pretty good day. I got a lot done and the kids were pretty good as a whole. I have been working on some workouts and an article on Nerodivergent LL. Thank you Lord for helping me be creative and getting to use my talents and abilities.
Today my silent enemy was helping out at kids church. Everything she had to have a hand in. It was initially frustrating but then I realized I used to be that girl who had to get into everything. I am learning to just be and then I realize things go so much better and without stress. I asked the Lord to forgive me for my pride, give up my people pleasing ways and just be. When I finished my portion of the lesson one of the teens gave me a big smile. That felt so good. I am so thankful!
The last few days back at school have been good. Also I feel confident about about eval I have next week. I see where the hand of God has been so helpful! Life is not perfect but I am learning a lot.
I would say that this vacation with the hubs has been the best in our 28 years of marriage. I am grateful for so much! As I turn to go to work again I realize that I am going to not take things so seriously and I literally could walk away from this point forward.
I am changing. Pacing is not so important to me. I am walking, running for me.
And I know that the Lord has been with me before and He will be with me again.
