Today I got in trouble for checking on lies. My principal called my admin and I got nailed for others lies I just hope I have a job and when I asked for feedback on my stuff I got called under the carpet. I give up. No matter what I do I get in trouble.
I pray for wisdom to not make mistakes. That I can fly under the radar. I can make it to Christmas and I give up on stuff.
Yesterday was a better day. Half the day the SW was gone and the whole day the lazy people were gone. Funny thing was we actually got more done
I also spoke out about a issue we were having. I watched as my co teacher would not back me up in it at all. It is sad to be constantly in an enviroment where people want you to fix things but when the rubber meets the road we can't get support.
That also is true for the admin. We have a kid who is hitting and injuring others but they won't do anything about it and when I step in to appologize I get grief for the way I help handle it.
We just live in a crazy world. I am learning a lot.
People have a way to doing things and if I don't do them the way at the moment they want I am not supported.
Staff can run their lives and no one has boundaries.
I guess it all comes down to we need to keep kids safe. If they are doing things that are not keeping them safe I need to step in.
And despite all the stupid I can still enjoy my life.
Today I found out my staff is talking about me. Gossip is powerful. I am trying to slow down and I feel like when I fix one problem just like the Whack a Mole another pops up. Instead of being frustrated of what is fair I choose to slow down and fix stuff.
And of course I will be applying to get out of here!
I have been relying about how to do things that are hard. I am busy working on a 5LL presentation for Nerudivergent learners. I am also talking about the phone thing with my staff Monday and actually assigning specific stuff on the kids. As I go into recess I will be in charge of those who go behind the equipment and no more. Time to work. Less stress
I had a nice walk with my friend Spero. I am excited about spending time and realizing my new stuff is good and that even though I am not the star that is perfectly okay.
Yesterday was a good day. I led two meetings and they went well. I could feel the peace of Jesus as I released control and gave the Lord the situation. Groups went okay too. I also tried to interact more with my staff. I even had some hard situations, manipulated some stuff that had been put off and dealt with some crazy. I can't change others but I can change the situation with God's help. Thank you Lord for helping me with a good day. Let me remember it when things go coo coo.
I looked over my eval today. Lots of stuff. Not all accurate but a lot. I am working on five goals. Better data collection, get attention before starting, using beh. program, slow down and use my crazy for good. I can't change others but I can with the help of the Holy Spirit myself.
