Shred

 Had my eval today.  Was totally shredded.  It made me such a wreck.  I will  work on them.  But I feel totally worthless right now

Pride

 I wonder why my life continues to be crazy.  I think it is because of pride.  I want things that are not neccessary God's timing.  I am learning that maybe one of the reasons my job changes is that the Lord is keeping me humble and trusting Him.  

Today is my eval.  May I be able to keep it together even if it stinks.  I believe God has brought me there for a reason.  Help me understand why. 

prayers, blessing and a beautiful day for a run

Today I lost my key fob.  But after prayer I found it. My couch got put together. I had some accidents on the way to turtle the race.  Despite my mistakes I got out of the mess basically.  Yesterday I found out I could retire in two or four years. And if I worked just a few hours a month I could collect ss too.  It is exciting to know that this basically will be the last year I am eval. And if I do more who cares. With God's help I hope to remain in CD but will keep my options open for Transition.   My nerves are basically shot but I have an end date.  That is good news I need to hear. 

I am doing better staying out of the drama.  It feels good to let go of stupid.

I am a but nervous with my eval.  I will get dinged on stuff.  I have decided to just be peaceful and accept what is given.  Try to do what they want me to do and journal on the stupid.  I cant change others but with the help of the Lord I can change myself

Smirks and Satisfactory

 This morning I found out that they are not replacing me for my job despite the fact I gave them literally three weeks notice.  It gets frustrating when I feel like I do the majority of the work and I hard get credit.  So guess what.  I am glad you get to see what happens when someone is there and the ship does not run because you filled the gaps.  

Also yesterday tech was not working.  I tried to fix stuff and instead of being praised for efficency I had to do a series of emails and told I needed to do that do it a certain way.

Also I was dinged for some really stupid stuff on a doc.  It was like they were looking for something.

And stating my feelings is not going to work.  They say stuff is animous but I noticed they discussed stuff I had stated either in a survey or stuff that happened at work.  So when I do any kind of surveys as far as I am concerned it is ALL FINE>

If I just make satifactory I will be satisfied.  After this year I will be off the hook for a few so I will just make it with whatever.  

I know I am doing the best I can.  I can't control others but I can pray about how to handle M with the changes in his behavior, D with diranged gradma, R with spitting and all the rest adventures. 

Not a Big Deal and Flexible

 Today the internet was not working.  I was pretty flexible with still having my meeting and also finding alternate ideas for activities when the internet was not working.  Then I had some help to figure out how to see a doc.  I can't change others but I can change me.  Thanks for being flexible and teaching how to do it Lord. 

The Opportunity to Not People Please and Not be Offended

 Today I had to make some hard decisions.  I could not worry about making others upset.  I just had to do the right thing.  Also I had several situations where I could of been offended with stupid stuff.  But I passed the test. 

Be Thank ful

 I was kind of being a pity partier and the Lord reminded me that I have a job, I get to do what I like to do, I have a good staff, good communite and get to use my talents everyday!