I am learning to be open to God's call. Yesterday I paced a race. I got to walk with some great people. As I finished at the halfway point I met with a non verbal autistic young adult. I put my hands in mine and I realized God has called me to the right places at the right time in sped. But also that I need to step up my sign.
I am grateful for the opportunties I have been given.
I have been suffering from the it is not my fault syndrome. To days off to making mistakes and I am blamed for the error and the foolishness of poor planning. I can't others but I can change how I respond.
I work really hard to have peace in our room but today someone came and caused total chaos. I say later she was with something that was not her business. I can't change others but I can myself.
I had a nice Easter yesterday. I had a nice dinner with my inlaws and a nice Easter with kids church.
I am really trying to not get frustrated with stuff and let time and God take over.
I can't change others but with God's help I can change me.
Yesterday I was on a long run and several times I saw deer and their families. It was a little frightning but super cool. One deer just stood there and I noticed he was not afraid of anything. He or she had several scars but just stood there straight and tough. It kind of reflected upon my life. I have had several battles in my lifetime but with the Lord I have been able to stay strong. I just need to rely on him.
Also saw some bunnies, purple violets ( my second favorite) and after my event ran into several people I had known. I can't change the past but under God's directions I can change the future.
I have been taypering off my meds. I frankly don't recommend it but it has been okay. I guess it is good to finally feel more and use that experience to make me more normal again.
Last my bloodwork came back and my test results. I need to watch my cholestrol, sodium, and calcium. I can't change others but with Christ's help I can do it.
Last no prayer is dumb. I fasted and I could not go to the bathroom. I asked the Lord to help me pee and he did. May I continue to remember the little and the trival.
When I returned to the classroom my Smartboard was locked. I trouble shooted and my person who it happened under did as well. The staff just sat their with their 2 cents. I know taking kids to jobs is hard but I am just trying to keep things going and deciding upon what is the worst fire and go from there.
Then I went home and called my mom. Big mistake. It just got me more riled. I can't change others but I am seeing I need to pray more.
I have decided that if I don't get picked for summer school I am just going to stay home. Glad today is the next day for the next four days. I need it.
Today I had so many situations with the nails on the chalkboard. It makes me so mad. Yes I am open to correction but people are so petty. I need to see who I am in Christ.
