Trusting God at a New Level

 Today I finally got it.  At least during my devotions.  If I am truly trusting God to take care of me I need to take my mind on what is going on that is not fair for me.

Positives:

I have more equipment from a friend that I did not anticipate from her generousity.

Both times I had boxes in the parking lot I had help from the cusdodians

Ava did not wet on herself

The kids were calm during morning meeting

Challenges

I was one of the few who did not get a treat in my mailbox

I was bullied by staff

I was wrongly accused twice with my boss

I can't control others, I can't control me but I can ask God to keep my focus on the right things and make the choice to not make hasty decisions. 

Stuff

 I feel like everyone is trying to make me fail.  My boss tells me how I am not doing my job yet I am doing all the work.  

But I am grateful for the cusdodians who helped twice today.

Then I am given more work. So pointless.  

15 more days.   Thank you God I am not going crazy

Blessings

 It is so easy to get frustrated.  I am thankful for the Lord helping me whether it is another person or He gives me the widom aat the right time.  

Give It To God

 I am by nature a fixer but lately I have had to keep quiet when things get dumb.  I have so many things going around that are out of my locus of control.  But every time I have had problems at work, with my car, someone out of the blue has helped me.  I think that God is treating me to trust Him more and more.  Someone said to me that there must be a purpose for me if everything is going crazy.  Life at work gets more nuts.  People are being rewarded for doing absolutely nothing.  No one in my room helps me.  My boss treats me like trash.  But there is always someone to help.  

I signed my contract yesterday.  I am excited nervous but I know this is the right move.  I don't even have to switch doctors. 

I also found out I have a lingering effect from my diesel fuel adventure.  Looks like another repair.  But at least I can drive my car until then.

My Bible Verse is 

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.  I Peter 5:7

My Crazy Day

 It started off with me in a bad mood.  I am so tired of my job.  Then the class was pretty chaotic.  Then my aide is telling me what to do and I have to do it or she will talk to my boss.  Then I fell and my boss wanted me to get it checked out.  So I got to leave, miss a pointless meeting.  

Then my car got fixed and I met someone at the hair place that is a believer and cuts peoples hair with special needs.  

I reflect on yesterday and I am thankful I am okay with this injury..  It will allow me to go to school to do my job.  I am thankful for the visit to get my hair done.  It was not an accident.

And to be just right up the street from the car place.  So amazing. 

21more days.  I got this with God's help

Address the truth, live through the stupid

 I am happy to say I got through 6 children yesterday with the testing.  They paid attention to the screen and at least looked like they were taking the test.  

I mentioned in my email yesterday to the staff I had some themed sheets from the plan they made for my class.  Suddenly they were changed.  People want to gossip.  I need to avoid or not give into them.

I got my eval yesterday.  Initially it was not necessary to meet.  Now it was.  I listened to a lot of lies and I just sat there and said nothing.  When it was appropriate I stated facts.  My boss could not remember the eval and said it would be proficient instead of needs to improve.  She said the final decision was sped.  So I am not hopeful things will change and that it might even get worse.

I gave the car guy a call and he was hopeful.  I did not tell my mom of my stupidity.  

Again I chased, dressed and went to the bathroom with all the kids.  Today will be the same.

I think the other principals are seeing what is going on.  I hope for some support from them even though I don't say much.  But it is probably out of their hands.

I still pray for understanding and salvation for the evil three but I am not sure if I will see anything.  Last my boss bad mouthed a lot of people.  She also threated that I would not get fired.  It is crazy.  Glad for only 23 days left.

I woke up this morning to God will make a way and Trust in God.  I also felt led to who I am in Christ Bible verses.  

Keeping my cool

 I have had some really bad bosses but this year takes the cake.  First my boss is wimpy and constantly lies and changes her stories.  The aides scare her and the one I witness had a good report.  She accused me of being mean with everyone else, forgot most of the stuff in the eval and told me even though I had a needs to improve I was going to get a proficient.  

the keys to my room she can't remember who has them.  The janitor does.  It gets so dumb.  

Still waiting to hear from my new job on signing etc.  Still waiting about my car.  Hoping it is not trashed.  but the guy was cool.