It had to come to this

 Wednesday I finally made the decision to go see the doctor.  I thought let me see if I can get into my own nurse.  It was a long shot because Wed. and Fridays are terrible days to see the doctor.  I made an appointment on Thursday but wondered if I could do Wed.  Actually I was able to get in at 3 and the moment my doctor saw me she said I needed to stay home.  I ended up getting RSV and I do have the days to spare but I never would of thought God would answer my prayer with a paid time off.  I also prayed if I was to go in  vs a  virtual visit and the Lord helped me go in.  Despite the fact I feel crappy I knew there was a miracle in place.  Thank you Jesus

Be Nice but Stand Up

 Today I had a interesting day.  First of all my trouble student came back and then my new boy is another kid on another level.  I thought Covid Kindergarten was crazy last year but this is definitely better in the fact that I don't get in trouble all the time but pretty crazy.

I did find a way to get my new kiddo on track but it is still nutso.  

I need extra pair of hands.  Lord help me show this to my sped boss and that I will get the help.  Help my principal see the good stuff not the stupid stuff.

Good Things

 I have been suffering from colds and coughs since September.  Part of it is allergies and also that I have a student who has a constant infection and despite my continual washing my hands I still get sick.  

But I am so thankful for some good things.  Lots of rest this weekend.  Finding Cordoroy at Kohl's , a purse I needed at just the right price and cool stuff at the Dollar Tree.  

Really?

 Lately I have been looking at my life and thinking often to myself.  Really?  Someone sharing my room.  More students to my caseload.  A child who was supposed to go to another setting.  Crazy. 

But I am reminded of the scriptures to live at peace with everyone.  To be the silent fool and depend on the Lord and that He will take care of me.  

I need to stand back and see the goodness of God and be pleased with the progress He has given me.  

Students that are now sitting and working consistently.  Creative ways to show academia.  Patience and wisdom for troubled students.  

For a Purpose

 Yesterday I found out this rascal who is dangerous to himself and others is coming back.  He is not supposed to but all I can think about is that there is a reason.  I have been pushed to the limit so much this year.  I would love a month of peace for a change.  I am bloody and tired from the journey of all kinds of stupid from my pastor wishing a heart attack on himself for rest and kids who are openly rude to me in kids church.  

I trust you Lord you are using this to minister to this child and that my attitude will be a witness to others. And I will be a tougher bird.  

Still not easy and fair but life is not fair but equal for each person.  

God Is In Control

 Yesterday in kids church was interesting.  The kids were arguing with the staff one kid openly mocked me and the dad did nothing about it.  A kid stole one of my figits and parents got to decide where a kid goes.  I am so over it.  I see this at work and I don't need this as a volunteer.  Then my pastor says last Sunday he would love to have a break like my dad who had triple bipass.  Life is crazy but I can't control any of it.  I am promised one thing at work and something else happens.  So easy to complain.  Again God I leave it in your hands.  I am glad He is in control. 

Don't forget the little blessings

 I am learning that every time I turn a car on, start my wash machine, dryer, have a few less kids than normal, have Ava listen to me that is a blessing.  I am thankful for the little blessings like my dad and mom still being here, a nice phone call or something else.  I am blessed