Little Winks from God

 Yesterday I found some little winks from God.  First of all I did a object lesson and I was prepared but the Lord helped me say things that were not originally in the message.  I initially had an attitude towards some kids, their parents and my pastor and I changed my perspective when I saw things in a different light.  Despite being in a toxic situation I realize that the Lord is using my situation to grow me up and get me ready for the next thing.  I wish I knew what next year holds but I need to be patient and just do excellence in the situation I am in now.

Frustrated with the Foolishness

 Yesterday I sat in a pointless meeting.  I watched as people were struggling to find  resources to help their students and just spending money foolishly.  I had the answers and it was my own cash and no one seemed to care.  I finished up the day and thought with the impending weather I better have a plan in case they cancelled school.  It was a fairly quick process but with not having a break that day, challenging students I was pretty knocked out. I was ready for the next remote day or so I thought.  It probably also did not help that I am in the midst of starting new meds.  At 6:30 we got a call about stupid Covid tests from the school.  It was like they were playing on my nerves that school was truly going to be cancelled.  At 10 PM they decided to close the school.  I woke up after a few hours of sleep and it took everything for me to go back to bed.  Then I wake up and get ready for my day.  They constantly changed their plan.  I emailed parents.  I contacted parents.  I looked like a fool having to change my plans and then less than a half an hour from go time the district decided to go on Google classroom and not go live.  I got some pretty ignorant messages that they were not pleased or the work I had provided at the last minute.  Funny thing is the parents that complained the most have the most challenging kids.  OM Goodness you have to spend a day with your kid and I don't get to babysit them as normal.  I tried to be nice and direct them to the district.  It should be interesting how I get in trouble tomorrow for again something that is not my fault.  Something has to give.  This stupid can't go on much longer. 

I am thankful that I can see how I was prepared the best I could.  I am thankful I did not lash out at the parents.  I am thankful I had a plan within a plan.  It blew my mind how foolish the kids acted with the whole day.  I need to rethink this whole remote thing for tomorrow if they call off school.  Who would of thought bus drivers would be the ones who allow us to have a break from covering other people's absences.  Crazy right

I am grateful

 Yesterday I know it was the spirit of God that told me to plan for a snow day.  I am so glad I did when 10 happened and I was asleep for a few hours I did not have to plan.  Then I wake this morning and they completely changed the plan but fortunately the Lord had a template I could use for instruction. God has given me the gift of organizing online learning so easily.  I am so thankful for so much.    I know that these things are not coincidences but gifts from the Lord.  May I never tire of seeing God's hand when things are just plain crazy.  Guess I am getting some housework done and a smoothie will be in my future at 8:30 at the new smoothie shop.  

The other problems I will lead on the back burner.  I am so glad God is in change. 

That is It

 Today I went out of my room and the painter had taken down over half that I had put up less than two weeks.  This was more than stuff up and taken down it was like again my world had been shaken.  

Two days ago my other teacher in the room tried to get me into trouble.  She proceeded to take an hour and a half lunch and we are only given a 40 minute lunch.  

I get in trouble for something I did not do.  I keep on getting blamed for stuff that I could think was me but really it was someone else.

Who is in Charge

 Today I had an opportunity where I shot off my mouth.  It almost got me into some heavy duty trouble.  I did keep my cool and kept with the blabber where she tried to rat me out.  Next year if I have an aide I will be more vocal.  And I won't be afraid of my new admin.

Proverbs 17:18  New International Version
Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.

Shooting off my Mouth

 Friday I was a complete basket case.  First I found out my amazer was leaving.  I tried to do the right thing but no matter what I seem to do it is never enough.  I shot my mouth off when my boss tried to accuse me  of doing something I had not done.  My co teacher in the room shot her mouth off to my boss.  I found out she heard what I said.  I had been trying so hard to stay out of drama, not listen to gossip and not have an opinion on anything.  Then I found out we have to completely change up our learning in just a few days since the Covid cases are rising.  What a drama with my superintendent looking for anyone who disagreed with her regarding going to teaching on the computer.  

I thought about what I needed to do which was impossible in just two days to get my parents ready to do this.  

Ecclesiastes 5:2

The Message

2 Don’t shoot off your mouth, or speak before you think.
Don’t be too quick to tell God what you think he wants to hear.
God’s in charge, not you—the less you speak, the better.

I am learning to just think before I speak and quickly learning who and whom I can trust.  It is so sad to work in a toxic world where people talk behind your backs, tell your secrets, and are only out for themselves.  It is such a toxic situation where trust is violated, people who fail are blamed and people seem to revel in ours faults.   I am learning to just keep my mouth shut, pray for others who are struggling and keep going with people who constantly change their mind.

I am looking at this remote situation where I have to teach after break without students as a blessing.  God works in mysterious ways.  Initially it will be some work but I know that I can with His help succeed and maybe a bad situation where there is toxicity I can move from it and be in my little pod and just do me and my class.  

Dog returns to it's vomit

 Proverbs 26:11 talks about a dog returning to its vomit and a fool returning to folly.  The longer I am a teacher the more I realize the more I don't know.  I refuse to do life as before.  Lord help me not be the fool today.