Strong means Hard and Rigid

 New International Version

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

I looked up several versions, Strongs and some commentaries and what struck me today is that I need to be tough, hard and rigid.  Sometimes in the storm it means being that way.  Lord help me be that way in all situations. 

Enemies at Peace With Me

 Proverbs 16:7

When I am trying to please God He makes even my worst enemies to be at peace with me.

I am currently in a place where everyone is trying to get everyone else in trouble.  It is quite toxic.  I  would love to see someone get theirs but I am learning that this is not the best way.  My attitude needs to be one of peace and concern.  Even when things work out that I am able to leave Illinois School or those who have given me problems leave I need to be a person of peace.  Jesus let me see my troubled students and my enemies as you see them as people who need You. 

Life in Order

 Proverbs 24:27

New International Version

27 Put your outdoor work in order
    and get your fields ready;
    after that, build your house.

This really hit me.  I can't change so many things but I can be structured and think through what I need to accomplish at work and at home.  Thanks Lord for reminding that the flash is not as important as the structure. 

Calm in the Midst of the Storm

 Yesterday I made some changes.  It was a lot of work at the desks instead of carpet.  That seemed to work well.  Second I made some changes with more independent work.  That also seemed to help.  I could feel the anger of my boss yesterday regarding the situation.  I look at her perspective and i see why she feels the way she feels but I also know each day what I am dealing with.  So I just do the best I can, pray and move on.  

Last night was my last night of yoga for a while.  It went okay.  I feel like it was not my best night but afterwards everyone commented how much they liked it.  I guess I did okay.  Thanks God for the positive comments and helping me do something slightly out of my comfort zone.   I know it was you.

Second I look to today.  I want to do well.  I am so over what people think.

Proverbs 16:7 says

When the Lord takes pleasure in anyone’s way,
    he causes their enemies to make peace with him.  

I pray for peace today. 

My Fault Yet Not My Fault

 My students spent a total of ten minutes outside today.  Two of my students were just being really bad.  So they were sitting out.  Then we went in.  My students decided to not come in and the others were just being crazy.  My vice principal tells me what they are doing wrong and then tells me to go in she will watch the kids coming in.  One kid does not come in.  Then she does and I am written up for her not coming in.  It was only a spilt 30 seconds but enough that I could lose my job over it.  I feel so dumb.  My kids are wild and I feel really stupid.  But I look at this as an opporutnity.  No matter what happens I know God is in control.  Please forgive me for making a mistake and thank you Lord nothing happened.  Help me fix the mess.  Help me make the best of this bad situation and just work at making it work better. Hopefully I can move on and realize no one is going to help me.  I will just have to do it myself. 

Looks like my vice principal fessed up.  I have a bit more respect for her.  I was praying she would fess up but it still is another confirmation that this year will be over and either I will be somewhere else or my boss will be.  God is in control.  

Blown Away

 A lot has happened since I blogged last.  I went from sped to regular ed.  I went from upper eled to kinders.  Crazy huh?  Add to it all 10 of my flocks have emotional, behavior and mental disabilities.  But tomorrow I have 10 conferences  that will be challenging in different waysand I am blown away that God showed me how to do them. I will be talking to parents with academic deficits, future sped customers, Future Focusin and Adrerol Customers and students needing a therapist. One way was showing a house all of them will be completing.  Basic 8 skills that they should of gotten before they darkened me door but due to Covid it did not happen.  Thank you Lord for showing a positive visual I can help parents take the lead in properly parenting their child.  I trust you Lord when you told me that I was the only one who could do this.  I envy the teachers who spend 20 plus years in the same grade and know it so well inside and out.  I change every year and never master certain things.  This is my chance to get out of a failing system of sped and get some stability in my life.  It is chaos right now but if I just hold on each day I will eventually see the sense of this crazy. 

How to be in a Healthy and Godly Worship Team

 Sunday I got to see what kind of worship team I need to be in at the right time.  First of all the leader was spiritually, skillful and open to the things of the spirit.  She chose music that was simple to learn, a wide variety and easy to follow.  She used hand signals to the band.  No one in the band showed out.  Musicians only soloed at appropriate times.  They dressed with no one standing out.  The singer and the band was anointed and skilled.  All the glory was given to the Lord. It was music that the audience could follow.  It was in the style of the musicians but also to the congregation.  It is a tall order but in God's time it will happen.