I got my eval back. It was all average. This has not been an average year. I performed at least three areas of my performance of distinguished. It is not fair.
I watched lately and my boss is just walking around and talking to people. The favorites are obvious.
I chose to forgive but it is still hard.
Yesterday we had a teacher appreciation day. The principal got a big sign and also a food truck. It was really nice but again one of those notice me. Then in a lot of the mailboxes were tons of treats. Mine of course did not have any. Last the principal had all the people sign their summative evals. Everyone's was done but guess who was not. Mine. Everyone just signed theirs without really even looking at it. No comments no nothing. I am grateful for the food truck but I just wanted to scream. I have put my heart and soul into this year and this is how you thank me. No eval not real imput etc. Last I have a student who I have been praying for these last few years on his temper. He has made real progress. I know God is working in his life. He felt bad the other day when he exploded and even gave gifts to the teachers he was rude to. He did not give me one and frankly I was glad because he knows he does not have to butter me up. The teachers were just like aww how cute. I thought it was kind of exciting that he was actually starting to feel convicted for being mean. But there is something more deep inside I am wondering about with his behavior. Why am I the only one to see this. But then I remember with more growth in the Lord comes responsibility. Sometimes my biggest fight is not not physical but mentally and spiritually. I refuse to give up.
Today was a day where I really could of gotten ticked off several times. The specifics are not important but instead of getting frustrated I just took things as face value. Much better way to handle life.
Today I was on my walk and I found this perfect stool for my classroom. This morning I found the exact type of video I was looking for my students. I listened to a singer who sang the songs I needed. None of it cost anything. God supplies blessings.
I met with my current admin and they were mentioning something about a boss I used to work for. I realized the reason we did not get along is that he wanted to really push my students because he had deaf siblings. Then she mentioned how well I did with Devaughn my autistic student. Last I had someone come in and ask for prayer yesterday. I am so glad I kept an open mind on things.
Monday I started testing. Devaughn came in and needed lots of attention. Who knew that Monday would be his last day.
Tuesday I find out I can't test until May. It throws my whole day off and D does not show up. I do not find out until Wed. he is not coming back.
Wed. I find out D is not coming back.
Friday I find out I am losing my lazy aide. But how it is presented is very unprofessional with all staff present and again my boss upset because she did not do her job she puts her job on the staff.
I get the Tonie and figure out how to use it.
I catch my boss coming in late everyday and very short with me. I find out I am not the only one and things are a mess everywhere.
I refuse to get involved in stupid but it does not help my day.
Well I went to the meeting and it was about the paras who are fooling around during the day. I should of figured that out. And the resource teachers were kind of stressed with the remote business so they complained to the sped ed dept about it. So we were rewarded with a meeting at the last minute at our lunch. No warning just a meeting.
Initially I was really frustrated with the whole situation. I am so sick of dealing with stuff that is about others foolishness and I am being blamed for their laziness.
If I ever get to be a boss these are things I will not do.
1. Call people to the office over the intercom without saying what it is about. Or just call them personally to the office with a bit of a warning.
2. Deal with idiots not the whole group.
3. Not have other people do my work.
4. Always thank people specifically for the great things they do and make sure I have something valid to say to them.
5. Take responsibility for stuff that is mine fault and maybe even take the blame initially for others.
6. Specifically set a time for stuff and not just do it when I want but warn others what the whole meeting is about.
7. Prepare staff for stuff and not just blind side them.
8. Find somethings with substance that they do right and compliment them in the next day or so.
9. Put your mouth where you promises or threats are and be willing not just say that you will do those things.
10. Answer emails, texts and other stuff with answers even if it is okay.
11. Write down and document immediately with email conversations that happened in the hall about work, staff related stuff.
I can't change others but I can change how I will deal with stuff. It makes it a little easier for next time.
Last I think I will be planning to use all five of my personal days next year. Mental health is important.
