Things that Don't Make Sense

I had pretty good day.  My students are ready for the evaluation tomorrow and I feel prepared.  But this afternoon the strangest thing happened.  My one student hit, kicked several students and instead of keeping the student she was not removed.  I am not afraid of her but she is dangerous to others and also to herself.  I have data, lots of it and even a bunch of pictures.  I don't understand why they won't place her somewhere else. 

I was gone yesterday and my students told me several times that they missed me.  It felt good.  They also glad to have me back.  I am thankful for God'help but enough is enough.

Paper Cut Problems and Evil People

My husband and I have had some challenges lately with finances.  Mostly because of our own doing.  I am learning through this and other things that I need to use my money as Jesus would have us use it.  But in the midst of it I am realizing that the issues are paper cut problems.  Paper cuts hurt  a lot but they heal quickly and there is limited damage. 

Also I have been experiencing a lot of evil people lately.  It is hard to deal with when all they want to do is hurt you.  I choose not to be bitter anymore but just pray blessing on them and ask that they be busy with their own stuff but not just needless things but productive things.  Probably after I get back to my class my aide will tell me how it was a peaceful day without me.  I will just say ok. Not worth thinking of something brilliant or hurtful to say.  I leave the situation in your hands God.

Another Side to the Story

I  was thinking this ever since I met with a friend last Monday.  She had some dental work done and accused the dentist of overcharging.  I honestly think her true story is that she did not get the work that she needed and the dentist kept on fixing the problem.  My other friend was pacing and did not make her goal. She blamed  five minute laspe on the clock.  And today I dealt with this kid who everyone is telling me that I am causing her to react and I know I have done everything I am asking to.  Doesn't anyone see that I am doing it the absolute best I can.  Last Monday I also found out that something that I almost had my future changed they did everything but appologize.  Enough of this. I leave it all in your hands Lord. 

Proverbs 18:17

17 The person who tells one side of a story seems right, until someone else comes and asks questions.

Ask Dumb Question and the Importance of Not Micro mangling

This week has been a week of emotions.  I made  mistake at work and it could of cost me my job.  Part of it was my fault but it was also others that went into play like not getting told the right thing to do, gossiping spreading and someone who wanted me to fail.  I still feel so exhausted and my emotions are so raw. Also I am learning to not be afraid of asking questions even if they appear dumb and get almost crazy with making sure I am not ruffling any feathers.  On the other hand when I am the boss or supervisor I am learning that I need to just be the opposite.  I want my staff to feel valued, allow them to make decisions without my constant approval and value their opinion.  It is out of my comfort zone but I am learning to treat others like I want to be treated.

Gossip

I have a serious situation where I made some mistakes and others have slandered me.  It is hard especially when there is this pressure to have everyone look at you.  But in a way it is freeing to know that you don't have to prove anything to anyone.  No matter the outcome of this situation I am working on what to do.

I trust You Lord that the slanders and people who talk behind my back will not hurt me.

I Don't Have Your Back

This has been my life lately.  I am not asking you to say that everything you do it right but just support me.  Is that so much to ask?  The great thing about telling the truth is that you say the same thing over and over.  It is amazing how people try to twist your words and tell lies.

Peace which transcends....

I woke up this morning all nervy.  I thought it would be an ordinary day with testing and then the typical day after day.  But without warning in walks the autism idiot.  Then my aide decides to take half a day.  If chaos could happen it sure did.  My students who normally I am able to control were out of it. 

I hate days where I have things well planned and controlled are crazy and everyone likes to blame it on me.  But then I stopped and paused for a moment.  Joyce Meyer talked about that 60 to 80 percent we deal with stuff that is not our stuff. 

I thought about the autism person.  There is a reason she is an expert rather than a educator.  Second I need to take what she says whether or not it is valuable and use what I can.  Third she is trying to save her job. 

Then my aide.  Maybe something serious is going on.  I will pray for her but realize that all I can control is what I can and God is going to have to take care of the rest.